It builds up pressure like a Super Soaker don't you know anything about guns, city boy?

Obamacare gonna take yer land

We all will, until Danza strokes out and admits with his dying breath, "it was Mona."

She didn't die, she changed position within the supercontext and started wearing the timesuit known as Ragged Robin.

Yeah, Ultimates 3 was the one where Wasp acted like Captain America was a totally uptight square for not being down with twincest. It was the kind of story that could serve as probable cause to search the author's house.

It's probably the stance he's been forced to take to continue to associate with his shitty Baptist family. He should ask himself exactly what he gains by being close to people who insist on self-flagellation as the price for admission.

If the writers can't, how could any of us?

I mean I'm just trying to relive the magic of that Bill O'Reilly/Andy Dick pilot I worked on.

Do you think they're hiring? Having both of those calm, rational, sane guys in charge probably makes for a dream job.

No, actually I don't. You talked about your weird conflation of tact and censorship, and I inferred that it was due to a past experience. No names involved.

Yeah, we get it. You put your foot in your mouth once, somebody called you on it, and you've been in a rage-fugue ever sense. You don't have to pseudointellectualize it.

If attempted murder of a child while engaged in incest were a crime, they'd have to put 99% of people in jail, and everybody knows it.

Just phrase it in a more confident way, like "ARE Y'ALL READY FOR THIS D!?!?!?"

I drew a dick in the sand on the beach once, it was twelve years ago so it might not be there anymore.

"He drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon, which, pre-hipster-fication, was the cheap, no-nonsense stuff people drank to get seriously hammered for as little money as possible."
Which is the exact same reason people drink it now. Why do so many people subscribe to the paranoid delusion that people drink PBR as some sort of…

Stan is basically Peggy's puppy, he started out unruly but all she had to do was establish dominance and he learned to behave himself.

Congratulations on paragraph 4's sick, sick burn. I want to put Cruise in an unbreakable glass box and read it to him.

When I was a kid, I had a gerbil that lost feeling in his legs due to a tumor, so he chewed them off. If this is a predictable outcome for cancerous gerbils, a prospective stuffer would do well to expose his gerbil to carcinogens as a time-saving measure.

Lorne Michaels has a well known sexual fetish for hiring incredibly talented people and then forcing them to perform complete dogshit. That's what it means to have power, you can do shit like that.

That was definitely Andrew Zimmern