Also: pay your fucking taxes. I'd add that.

From what I can tell from this diagram, having a mistress (aka "concubine"), doesn't actually go against biblical "family values".

I don't think it should, as far as criminal charges go, for one simple reason: Evidence.

Sadly, you may be right:

I would love to see someone drive a Bagger 288 to work

Plus he can't exactly drive the Count Trossi to work in Midtown. He's not Jay Leno.

yes.

But have you seen what happens when your right and left rear tires are off by 1.5 PSI?

"When God hates all the same people you do, it's a sign that you've created Him in your image."

Better yet! Stay away from "clubs." They are massive wastes of time, energy, and money.

HELL yeah! Kristen Schaal can be Oddball, and maybe Mary J. Blige can sing "Burning Bridges".

What sort of sadists name their kid John Johnson?

There's no possible way my parents would ever do something like this to me.

True story: When I'm constipated, I sing Let It Go and it really does help stimulate my bowels. Reason 16831 Why I'm still single.

Zooey Deschanel as Rick Moranis? What about Jeanine? WHO'S ANSWERING THE PHONE?

To be fair, 30 years ago "lovable male lead in romantic comedy" could be a guy who put on a costume to trick a girl into having sex with him by pretending to be her boyfriend. Peter Venkman was pushy, but when he realized that the hot naked girl who wanted to have sex with him was not in her right mind he refused to…

It already is a series, you can find it at www.reddit.com

Read IMAJICA more carefully.

Five, FIVE days of not eating, ah ah ah!

Fuck Wilson. The dude just up and swims off at the first sign of rough weather. Some friend.