and mosquitos, who will constantly buzz in his ear and bite him on all of his tinder bits.

May he live on margarine and those really mealy over-sweet apples you get from the 7-11. May an airliner accidentally empty its toilet holding tank over his house while he is out, so that he comes home to find that all of his stuff is covered with blue ice and poo. May his home be infested with sweater moths, and his…

May he always have low battery. May his socks slip down his feet. May he always need to sneeze but never quite manage it. May he shart whenever he farts. May he step on lego.

I hope his refrigerator dies while he’s a work and his dog poops in his favorite shoes and his best friend butt dials him while talking about how he’s really lost it, and his land lord decides it’s time to renovate and cancels his lease six months early, and his work decides to rearrange some offices landing him in a…

This is why I get angry when people say that these kinds of conspiracy theories are “harmless.” No, they vilify victims and their families and then send their rabid dogs after them. It's inhuman and revolting.

Can’t just be a nut job believing some crazy conspiracy shit. Gotta go screaming that shit at the person who —if your idea is wrong— would be most terrorized by you screaming at them.

Well you can understand his claims given how all guns everywhere were banned as a result of Sandy Hook.

Tennessee is very pro business. Our politicians love jobs even more than they hate the LGBT community. It worked out well for once.

Mine is the same way. (Banking) They’ve been a strong supporter for at least a decade. Once upon a time customers would close their accounts over our “support of the homosexual life style” and we were free to be as cheerful as possible about losing their business. When someone at work was transitioning, they basically…

My company’s (Fortune Global 50) CEO just announced complete support for our LGBT employees and total opposition to the new “religious freedom” laws being passed.

This grows tiresome. There is not a plague of transgender people attacking women and children in bathrooms. This is not a real fear. This is being done because of fear of those who are different and deciding your religion is more important then other people’s human rights.

Who knew bigotry had rain dates.

She replied to one of my Tweets once and I was so starstruck.

She liked my tweet once and I told everyone about it for a week at least.

Rape or sexual abuse in prison to anyone is a problem and something in Anglo culture has generally become accepted as part of being punished.

That was very good headline-writing. One glance and my lunch was almost gone, which I think is the appropriate response. And to think of all the state lawmakers that are obsessed with goddam toilets.

This is fucking horrible.

Ugh. Just goes to show, there are predatory assholes of all orientations and stripes.

They were totally awesome when I met them in this dream I had once

What do you mean a great serpent laid an egg and from it the Earth was hatched, you loin-clothed heathen? A bearded white dude willed it into existence over a six-day period, and then took a Sunday nap, and that’s why we can’t shop for liquor on that day. GET SERIOUS.