A headline called “McDonalds Cups look like people having sex” linking to an article that is nothing but pictures of McDonalds Cups that look like people having sex is the literal opposite of what the word “clickbait” means.

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

Wrong. See a nazi, punch a nazi.

+8 days

oh yeah dude. huge oversight on my part not including a lengthy aside disavowing ariana grande in this post. I'll get right on that 

A-Rod just wanted someone else to eat the outside of the cake first, since he only prefers the centaur pieces.

This whole situation is a mess of “he said, he said, they said, these other guys said, video cut #1 said, video cut #2 said”.

Me reading this.

So there’s a big festival in Poland that, y’know, actually embodies the spirit of Woodstock called “Przystanek Woodstock” (Destination Woodstock). There’s an insane amount of people every year, there’s mud, drugs, community/arts/culture tents next to all the gigs and it’s completely, 100% free. It’s perhaps not as…

Severino: [puts down #1 sign]

“After the O’s used nine actual, professional pitchers”

Oh man, I’ve been laughing uncontrollably while reading the youtube comments on that video.

American Puritan BS? Huh? Have you ever seen the Puritans smoking those long ass pipes?

I’m pretty sure this is the stupidest thing I have ever read in my life. 

“Do shitty stuff, expect shitty results.”

It’s time for some vulgarity. I’m done playing nice and pretending that there’s any middle ground here. At least six kids have died in U.S. custody in the past year from torture and neglect at U.S. concentration camps. No kids died in immigration custody in the decade before that. And now American kids are being…

1) The kid who recently got picked up by ICE was an American citizen. His mother even brought his birth certificate and they insisted it was fake. He spent a month sleeping on a floor in an overcrowded cell with 60 men. The kid lost 20 pounds because these concentration camps aren’t providing basic food or medical…

HERE I AM!

The runner-up headline for this blog was Bison Yeets Child Into Oblivion