“Being overweight is a choice people make.”

I don’t think there’s any other answer to this than, call me a terrible person.

Fuck off bigot.

I miss Boarders. I bought all my boaks there.

Must be nice. Feel like a tough guy, do whatever you want, screw it up royally, not get punished, get the same sort of case and screw it up to the point there’s two dead, and what? Meh. Go home and sleep in your bed with a clear conscience, I’m sure. Cuz accountability for cops is often a laughable concept. Nobody…

Seriousness aside:

And now, an exclusive preview from the comic:

I was just thinking about a plate of shrimp.  

True. He probably thinks they’re “ethnic”.

Nah B.  You’re going to want to run toward the flash.  It’s the only reasonable thing to do.

Mike Pence has probably never eaten a poppy seed. 

This is as good a place as any to mention Jason getting a pretty funny nod in today’s Penny Acade.

One thing I hate about writers is when they write something that causes a swift and broad backlash, and their defense is “You misunderstood what I meant,” as if that is a valid defense for a person whose job it is to convey ideas to third-parties via the written word. I write for a living, and if someone who is…

By far the best part of every installment. The default phone signature arms race is peaking in 2019.

From: Max Hesh

Paul Brown, writer: “Hey, Megan Greenwell, editor-in-chief of Deadspin, I’d like to pitch you a story.”

Man I’m glad deadspin doesn’t write about how putrid my Orioles are this frequently