The best real-life strip club name I’ve ever seen is the Navel Base, but this would be a close second if it does exist.

There are four lights!

He’s got summer teeth: some are here, some ain’t.

You can just tell that he could fuck a Cheerio without breaking it.

Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!

Ohio and Indiana are the South of the North.

If possible, get a CPAP. It probably saved my marriage. Be prepared to try several different masks until you find "the one" but it's worth it.

Whew, glad that's settled and we can all just move on!

Trey Gowdy looks like Draco Malfoy’s hillbilly cousin.

He looks like he could be Kid Rock’s slightly less gross son.

This litmus test also applies to aircraft mechanics who work with hydraulic fluid.

If a fellow diner wants to yell at them regarding their abject shittiness, that’s 100% OK. If a restaurant owner wants to refuse them service, then I think we’re in “I’m not baking your gay wedding cake” territory. 

You know, morons.

Nope, it’s Guitar...

The best account of those events I’ve seen is this.

When I first read the headline I thought it said “Pizza” and I thought “Man, all that shit they went through and they honor them with a lousy pizza?”. Sometimes it pays to slow down a bit when reading. Also, great article!

As a Michigan resident, I can tell you Detroit is also like this.

There’s states enacting laws that would let you run them over if they stand in front of your car. The right are a bloodthirsty bunch.