John Mayer seems like the kind of guy who would post that a certain day is conceptually ridiculous and then have it pointed out to him that it’s his *own* birthday, at which point he would just squint through the extremely heavy pot smoke and shrug.

Am I too much of a wimp to be respected by punks? - frequent worry as a child thanks to Bad Religion.

1. Did I undercook the turkey?
   

I got fired early in 2016 and have spent the rest of the year looking for work, so 80% of my panic attacks this year (and 100% prior to November 8th) were related to looking for work, avoiding the process of looking for work, feeling extreme guilt over avoiding the process of looking for work, and worrying that I am…

John Mulaney was all over this last year, one of my favorite bits of his:

I think his followers would see it as a martyr type thing.

My favorite line in the Vanity Fair article:

It kills my born-Cubbie blue heart that we’ve been dragged into this as much as we have been. And also I only got to be happy for like three days. The last time they made a run in the playoffs, my mom had just died and everything fell to shit. So.

I’m not a legal expert by any means, I’m just a nerd. But I think what the judge was getting at was that Edwards was trying to override the legislature on a subject present in bills that they had voted down specifically for that reason. If that makes sense. I’m tired. Sorry.

Unpopular opinion: I kinda agree with the ruling in the sense that an executive order shouldn’t have the power to create a new law. I certainly wouldn’t be OK with that legal precedent if a governor tried to pull the opposite sort of thing to specifically legalize discrimination via executive order.

I’m sorry for going off topic, but I have a suggestion. With the bate-and-switch of the anti-abortion bills in Ohio and now taking away protections from Louisiana LGBTQ state employees, I wonder if Jezebel should start a regular column on the shenanigans of state governments. Especially since the GOP is only 1 or 2…

In Soviet Russia you don’t gather around fire, fire gathers around you.

I basically had this conversation last week with someone who has been told he’s smart so therefore he shouldn’t have to learn anything else. I’m a teacher and he’s a child though, so...

I have my guy — the best guy, just hugely wonderful — and he’s in charge of my wardrobe. I wouldn’t trust anyone else! And believe me when I tell you, I’m an excellent judge of character. My guy, Emilio, he comes in with my suits, and I try them on and he says I look amazing. Not just him! A lot of people are saying…

But Obama golfed!

Look, IDGAF what Trump chooses to do in his “spare time”. Yes, absolutely Presidents have a right to leisure activities. However, producing a TV show is a job, not a leisure activity. Not only is it a job, it’s a job that creates a DIRECT CONFLICT OF INTEREST with NBC. Any and all reporting done by NBC, affiliates,…

I know, right? A world where a largely Republican Congress that completely refused to work with Obama for eight years but would totally help Bernie push his socialist, distribute-the-wealth agenda sounds fun.

Between third party voters and these Electoral College electors, I’m so damn tired of people pretending there are other choices than Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Our system was designed from the jump to be a 2-party system, and except for a couple of anomalies (look up the election of 1824), it has functioned…

I got internally huffy when I read her remarks in Shrill, but then I remembered what sort of comments used to show up on her posts. In fact, you can go back and look at them. I really can’t blame her. When I read student reviews, for example, the ones that really stick with me are the awful, nasty ones—the ones that…

ME TOO. Have you read Shrill? It’s so great.