So is his solution to this made-up problem that no women should run as Dems just in case there is a qualified penis too chivalrous to run against her? Because we are losing out on more quality candidates that way than if we just shut out the lady 50% of the population?

Exactly. There were parents of a child in the same situation as your nephew on the news and they were like,

I do sincerely appreciate how much Gary Busy he has given us.

Genocide and child abuse/murder is bad and all, but I'm also appalled at the terrible science. Like, there are SO MANY confounding variables!!! What were they thinking??

Oh, hey, dude who always replies to me on Gawker!

what about...

I was all about it from the front, but from the back it's like, wait, those are parachute pants??? And is that a little backpack? Like from that back she looks like my great aunt on her way to a casino in FL.

I would try to escape that dress too. It's just terrible!

"It was an odd shade of orangey green, some of it foamy, and it smelt like death and sweaty assholes."

Sounds about right!

if I wanted someone to feed, bathe, and cater to constantly, I would have a baby BY MYSELF LIKE A FEMINAZi LESBIAN SHITASS.

Kumail should be on tweet beat and also every TV channel always.

With of all the "Oh but orgasms are the best!!!" comments, this is what I was thinking the entire article. My love is the last kind who just cases way too much. And no matter how I try to explain it, it seems like he will never understand that orgasm =/= good sex. That good sex can be had without an orgasm and bad sex…

No, I got married for tax break and wedding gifts. I really needed flatware! But I guess yours makes sense too. I didn't think about the dirty looks.

OMG I'M SO SORRY. That is downright abusive. Enjoy every whiff!

Because why buy the cow when you can drink soy milk?

It also implies that in the past, people got married largely because it was too hard to access porn. What?

Yeah my mom swears by Oscillo. I always figured if a placebo helps her, then good for her, but the last time I stayed with her I had a cold and she would NOT stop pushing it on me. Finally I was like, "Mom, do you even know what Oscillo is made of? ITS SUGAR. Literally JUST SUGAR. With MAYBE a molecule of duck liver."

My favorite episode was the one with Oscillo and other homeopathy nonsense. Dr. Oz asked in the promo, "You know a cup of coffee helps wake you up... But can a much smaller amount help you sleep??"

Luckily right now I have a very empathetic man. But in the past it has been what you just said, or I would have to make consequences that effect them. *Which is not AT ALLLLL like trying to have a relationship with a child.*