Librarian: This is a bar for me who want to drink, and get drunk, and we have no time for characters!

Glad I have no idea what/who that is.

YES! AND THAT'S WHY WE MUST ALL HAVE GAY SEX WITH THEM! Uh- right?

Under-tree Fruit is as Murkan as The Bloomin' Onion smothered in Cheese-Inspired Product and "Steak?".

True. "Punchable" is Tom DeLay's mugshot. "Punchable" is Ted Cruz in general. "Punchable" is Rick Perry in his Trying To Look Smart, Here glasses, and…lotta Texans in there, huh?

(five minutes later, ejaculates on a cocktail waitress and says; "OH, WHAT? SO I'M THE BAD GUY NOW?")

Oooh, but can't you see how much better she is than you?

Sales of which "…help promote the AV Club." Got it.
I was wondering, too. There's nary a bit of even good-natured snark in this thing.

Boy, it is no longer a mystery why he kept that 'stache so long, huh?

"Seems" overstated, yes.

Hip in the way Sammy Davis, Jr. was, say.

And in the States, that's what's known as a "mother-in-law apartment."

Always bellowed, in Jack Perkins' voice.

"Remembah most things bein' done 'round heah simply for spite? Pep'ridge Fahm remembahs! That's why we burned down Peppah Valley Fahm!"

"I'm proud to be a Borderer! We Abut so many things!"

Neither of those is my kind of town!

If someone calls "foofaraw," run!

BILSON!

"And I sentence myself to Jail for being such a baaaad juuudge!"

Are the Blucases and the Bilsons brelated?