"That'll be seventeen dollars for your loaf of bread, hometown hero!"

If only he'd yelled "SHAZAM!" when he dropped the gavel.

"Look! Oh hi, Dean Cundey!"
"Hello No. 1 Staples! Don't mind me!"

"We're a couple of bad motorscooters!"

A Movie Writist who was No. 1 among the Movie Writist society top pick!

Which is why I always address them as "officer."

Please do not exclude the scores of young Americans who are just idiots, and call themselves a thing they clearly know nothing about, which adds as much to the generalizations as anything else.

Wager away, but don't assume.

"You kin hide druuuugs in Asta!"

Oh man, if only that were true…

Just trying to see what it's like to be you…Not good, I feel.

You really can't shut the fuck up?

Nope, just showing you what being in a comment thread with you is like.

Not as funny as watching him agree with himself.

NOPE! YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE THE VOICE OF REASON ALL OF A SUDDEN! YOU'RE NOT! FUCK THE FUCK OFF!

YOU *CAN* ACTUALLY JUST STOP, YOU KNOW! AND YOU SHOULD! JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH, PLEASE, FUCKING STOP!

NO! YOU HAVE NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO CONTINUE WITH THIS! YOU SHOULD STOP!

AAAGGGHHH! PLEASE, PLEASE JUST FUCKING STOP!

BUT NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT!

NO SERIOUSLY, SHUT THE FUCK UP.