Puma…?

As far as I'm concerned, Bibi can go and beget himself.

He epitomises the very best America has to offer! His hair is like a Malibu sunset, his skin is the colour of American Cheese!

Hagrid? It's Hagrid, right?

Yeah, that was weird - he almost seemed to think that Britain, under the direction of Piers Morgan, was going to take away his guns.

The word 'parvenu' springs most readily to mind.

I speak from personal experience. Works every time!

For some reason, Americans think you taste it by grabbing a tablespoon full and then wonder why their mouths pucker up like that guy in Preacher's

The 44 gallon drums of maple syrup should have been a giveaway.

I haven't managed to decipher them yet.

Simultaneously shit and shark?

As Billy Connolly observed, Scotsmen drink Bovril "at fitba' games and at no other time in their lives!"

Vegemite is far superior to its anaemic British cousin, Marmite. Best hangover preventative ever.

Never could understand how that could work on radio.

But, it should be noted, a friend to all children.

Herschell Gordon Lewis' forgotten masterpiece, The Grabber.

If you think a country with four national languages can't be monocultural, think again!

It's not evident in the Southern Hemisphere because the water levels in our toilet bowls are decently low. Everything just goes downwards.

Well, half of Dikachu could be deported.

Meanwhile, Australia looks on in bafflement as our most important ally starts a fight with our biggest trading partner. We're standing there in our pajamas and clutching a teddy bear while the parents start throwing crockery.