Crypto (noun): A giant pile of environmental destruction constantly in search of a problem to not fix.

You’re making jokes, but Disney is running the only remotely functional government in Florida right now. We could do worse.

“What If” stories historically kinda have to trend dark, because if things end up better than they did originally, Marvel is asserting that they told you a bad story the first time. To avoid that, they take the very Panglossian take that changing even the slightest thing about the main universe would have led to…

The WandaVision thing felt, to me, like another symptom of that weird thing going around where if you’re not employed by Disney, you have to performatively hate Marvel, or else you get your auteur card taken away.

Because even if there’s the tiniest shred of doubt in your mind, you’ll pop when they show up on screen. See also: AEW waving around great big neon signs reading WE SIGNED CM PUNK, EVERYONE COME WATCH HIS FIRST APPEARANCE BUT SHHH, IT’S A SECRET and the crowd and TV audiences still losing their goddamn minds, because…

But if we’re holding space to re-evaluate America’s collective condemnation of Britney Spears, Lorena Bobbit, and Courtney Stodden, then why not Tammy Faye?

Bernie voters don’t get to whine about the fruits of all their hard labor.

The technical achievements are undeniable — it looks absolutely photorealistic, they had Favreau wearing a VR helmet so he could look around a set that did not exist and place cameras that also did not exist exactly where he wanted them — but God, this movie sucks on toast.

I don’t normally love jukebox musicals but this frigging sold me:

I mean, “Look, if James Bond doesn’t want to have any fucking fun with the genre any more, we’ll do it” has sorta been the series’ entire reason for existing in the first place, no?

Capitalism was a mistake

One of the most cogent points I ever read was someone noting that the key thing about the Jetsons and their food-pill ilk was that everyone seemed to get the same enjoyment out of their food pills as they would from a full meal.

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah will probably remain the eternal single reminder of Song of the South’s existence.

All I know is that “JustForFans” started trending on Twitter literally the second this news broke, so I think someone beat you to it.

Well, I wish those investors all the best in profiting off the 130 million users when 128 million of them quit.

Someone bring me Aladdin sign guy, I want to fistfight him.

Who are three people who inexplicably missed the words “not the worst possible”?

What are “not quite the worst two choices possible, but way up there on the list”, Ken?

Aretha Franklin needs to think about her whole life before she sings a song.

Lo and behold. Not low.