No way, what am I? A sucker? … What am I going to do, like, bend down and wash my legs? Who has the time?

Hooray. 

The reason men draw so many penises is because most of them couldn't figure out how to draw a vagina.

This list needs more Big Dick Podrick.

Steelers: We’re gonna go ahead and light our roster on fire.

Cleave Gaming! Hoo-ray.

Nah, sporting events don’t turn people into obnoxious dicks.  Sporting events just attract obnoxious dicks.

The horse’s name?  Brett Kavaneigh 

Kenan, you’re one of my all-time faves.

Too Cool's dancing spot in the 2000 Royal Rumble, where Brian and Scotty convince Rikishi to put the Rumble aside and briefly dance with them before a double clothesline and elimination, is one of my favorite wrestling memories from childhood (credit to Scotty for going back-to-back with that spot and the Kane/Taker…

No Mitch McConnell?

Yes. And Monica’s “Angel of Mine” is better than any of Brandy’s singles were. I first knew “Angel of Mine” via the 90s UK R&B girl group Eternal (after they parted with Louise Nurding/Redknapp). Monica’s version is more memorable because she has a way with lyrics and phrasing.

Son, if people are still giving you shit for liking nerd stuff in 2018, the problem ain’t your face.

I would be visibly happy cleaning toilets in Hawaii.

when i worked grocery, my usual verson was that “i might not see you by new years, so holidays covers both” seemed to diffuse anything. I am a catholic, so its not a religious objection, but honestly, even among people that celebrate Christmas, some celebrate the religious version(though some are the various flavors…

Even just a month ago if you said “Merry Christmas” people looked at you like a total weirdo. Now? Everyone’s saying it, you can’t enter a store without seeing Christmas goods, every radio station is playing Christmas songs and every television station is playing Christmas specials. There is a Christmas Tree in almost…

This is a common misconception. Zelda is the scientist. You’re thinking of Zelda’s Monster.

This is right. The common belief about Weinstein was that he engaged in unethical quid pro quo with up-and-coming actresses. There is a serious moral issue that even that behavior was tolerated, but it’s not like most people in Hollywood could really act on an “understanding” that Harvey was a perv.

Vince can expect the full support of the president. Backing failed ventures is what he’s best at.

OK but Rose McGowan not only worked with a child molester but she literally took a pay out and signed a NDA with Weinstein.