Because the turtle knows what it did. 

One of the building’s most unique features js a turtle upside down on its back. It’s struggling to right itself. Why aren’t you helping the turtle?

The A.V. Club turned into eBay so gradually I hardly noticed.

It comes with wall-to-wall mumbled Harrison Ford narration from the theatrical cut.

Rachael: Do you like our lawn?
Deckard: It’s artificial?
Rachael: Of course it is.

I’ve seen features you people wouldn’t believe. Two hearths on fire off the shoulders of the living room. I watched sconces glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments can be yours for a qualifying offer. Time to buy.

You mean, none of these people are going to hire me? Shit.

I’m a lawyer. We often have to quote what other people say. When you say white people can never say the n-word you surely can’t mean in an official setting where substituting the word (any word) would be misquoting what was said. Academia, legal settings, there are times when we have to discuss things like grownups.

They don’t need all of him, just his jaw.

See, now I have this whole headcanon about Dr. Chap Stick and Suzy Chapstick divorcing after doing these ads because one of them totally ripped off the other’s “Chap Stick is serious medicine. It not only helps to heal chapped/cracked lips, it helps to keep them from chapping/cracking in the first place” quote that…

No. Please god, no. Fucking no.

I’m very interested by this chart on Wikipedia:

Oh, right! I totally forgot that Dr. Chap Stick used to be called Dr. J. 

Rebootcop.

Maybe MGM should try and Creed this franchise by having the child of Murphy’s partner seek out an old rusted RoboCop for advice.

Can I help anybody?

Robocop Returns? Why not Robocop Rebooted? It works on every runlevel!

“Asshole sister” is a horrible way to talk about Jezebel

It’s not perfect, but it was possible to follow discussion threads without a third party extension. It was possible to block trolls without a third party extension. There were no grays. It was possible to format text on mobile. And I never got locked out of my account for three weeks on mobile because the login page…

Two and a Half Bodies.