A family that gets together for an orgy session?

One bad day. All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest newspaper alive to satire. 

In retrospect, the insurance company might have been suspicious about the double indemnity clause for death occuring on a raft

The non-union mexican equivalent hallway runs 50% longer for the same price.

Could be worse ... the bell could be buried in pink slime.

Culture achieved perfection in 1990; that’s just scientific fact.

Nope. And now that I’ve watched some clips on YouTube, I think they’re just not my taste.

I watched it and disliked it. There were bits that were funny, but a substantial number of the jokes were painfully flat or went on for too long, I thought.

Birdman wouldn’t have worked nearly as well with anybody who wasn’t Batman.

I can’t quite agree. Edward Scissorhands and its fairy tale ranks just a bit above BR in my personal Burton Ranking.   

If nothing else, it’s worth tuning in for the All Starr slam dunk contest.

These bwampfs are disgusting. 

Pity the warrior didn’t learn how to moot the bard.

Ordinary fucking people. I hate ‘em

I don’t know why big budget show business, an industry which relies heavily upon the attractive features of their employees, would find merit in employing the offspring of said attractive people. Children very rarely resemble their parents, after all. 

Be jealous of them all. It’s much less tiring.

Stupid sexy Ted Cruz.

I’m glad somebody hid The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen from you.

You’ve got it all backwards! The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. 

I kind of assume both involve copying and pasting out of press releases from the company, rather than journalists frantically clicking around to see what’s expiring and meeting Netflix sources in Los Gatos parking lots at midnight.