Honestly, if I was a guy in my late 30s/early 40s and I really felt like I could only be attracted to "perfect women" or die, I would start to question whether it's women I'm actually attracted to. It's probably more complicated than that, but I have this gut feeling that the main difference between myself and these…

Yeah a lot of these dudes refuse to let go of that myth. They nurse their unrealistic expectations of what caliber of women they should expect to date and would rather go celibate than bother with anything less than a trophy. It's like their entire self-image hinges on getting arm candy that will make everyone…

The scouting part sounds pretty consistent with the PUA-customer mentality. I've snooped around a few of these websites, I'm ashamed to say (I get a guilty thrill out of it — it reminds me that there is a faction of dudes out there who are way more miserable than I am). Based on the tone of their posts, one of the…

I'd like my kids to know as many words as possible, and be able to use them correctly. If that includes swear words, fine. I'd be more concerned if they were limited in how they expressed themselves.

I strongly suspect that guys are weirdly comforted by the idea that sex appeal is something they can acquire. If it's not — if being sexy is as elusive as say, being born with the right genes, well, that would put them in the same undesirable position as women, right?

I guess making movies is so expensive, they're more likely to stick to a formula and take fewer risks (than television, maybe? I've always found TV to be more progressive). I don't accept that Americans are as cinematically illiterate as Hollywood seems to believe.

FWIW, Lisbeth Salander was intentionally written to be emotionally stunted. Interestingly, I just found out that the literal translation of the original Swedish novel title is "men who hate women". I thought the films (both Swedish and American) were fairly well made. But I also wonder what happened with action…

Not sure why people would rather watch shitty action flicks instead of (for example) the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. You're right about Angelina though. I feel like the kind of character she plays in her action films are lots of dudes' movieland fantasy female alter-ego.

I hate to agree with you. I also partly blame critics who love to dedicate time and attention to panning crappy blockbusters (which I think can backfire by generating curiosity — "no publicity is bad publicity") instead of drawing more attention to worthwhile films.

I also wonder if the way perceived success registers on the arousal index has to do with the poll participants' class background. Maybe you're more likely to want to screw "ambitiously" if you don't come from privilege? It occurs to me I don't know any women who look at monetary signifiers as a source of…

It does get annoying, since you mentioned it. I've also known lots of men to dissent when they hear women insist that men as a group are only turned on by uber-thin physiques.

While that may explain the appeal to some, I am personally much more likely to be attracted to a starving artist than a rich accountant.

What a nightmare! I used to think people were exaggerating when I heard stories like this, yet in the last year of my life I had some bizarre experiences with women's health specialists myself. One of them clearly had a problem with single people having sex, said it's always possible for birth control to fail (I use…

There are intangible traits that are associated with so-called ''rock stars'' that aren't about wealth, status, etc. People whose artistic expressions are circulated via mass media does capture some peoples' imaginations. The personas, whether they are arrogant, vulnerable, confident, naughty, strutting, embody lots…

I think some of it may be inevitable, but there are ways to avoid becoming an unbearable, miserable jerk. Don't isolate! Don't *only* hang out with like-minded people, it will feed paranoia/persecution complexes (''everyone's either with us, or against us!"). Stay socially active, interact with the outside world,…

It's possible to be sex-positive without personally being oriented towards casual sex with many partners. If people think hookup culture is the natural or only response to acceptance of women's sexual desire and autonomy, the message is getting lost somewhere.

Yes on so much of this. I just have a couple of nits to pick — you said "Men are socialized to be ultraconfident from birth." Most here agree that this isn't always necessarily advantageous to men either. You feel as though you have to put on that persona to get the "right" kind of feedback. Women are in that…

It doesn't describe the gist of the article accurately, either. The article is meant to question the fact that an inflated sense of your own abilities shouldn't be valued in lieu of actual accomplishments. Improvements could be made all around by recognizing people for what they really contribute instead of being…

FWIW:

It seems some people lump bullying in together with mild horseplay and coming of age rituals. They don't see the difference between that and pathologically targeting someone — i.e., they've never been bullied.