Don’t fault the Earthquakes mascot. He’s destined to level everything west of I-5.

Good on Erin Andrews for not letting a guy get away with a cheap dinger up the middle.

Legalization and making it less taboo combined with no new Harold & Kumar movies can really fuck up a preadolescent’s rebellion curve.

My town needs them!

Good God.

Attendance at Astros games is just fucking soaring.

it's the shirt/buttons/chest.

I'm pretty sure that's just Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.

Just think of them as giant cannibalistic cockroaches that would happily eat you if they got the chance. I personally find that it helps.

This is honestly terrifying me.

Who the fuck is surprised that a woman named Eileen would only fill out the first leg?

It's too bad there are no topical 80s pop songs for this occasion.

Dammit, Eileen!

Wow. A lot of us think we're so young and clever.

Damn, I think I left the house without my humor. Because that ish...

It's literally Hitler.

this is art.

"I saw it snowed once. Therefore Global Warming isn't a thing."

I am a fan of pictures, in particularly selfies, at funerals