I’m confused as to whether people were in on your joke, or if they weren’t putting it together that a man can’t have an abortion....

I just got engaged a few days ago and the wedding is in June, and I SO needed to read this right now. I’ve been calculating in my head how many lbs I have to per week in order to drop 40 pounds in the next 3 months. I think I’m going to adopt this fitness plan instead. THANK YOU!!!

I just got officially engaged today, and I’m already stressing about what people are going to expect from me with a wedding coming up.

Walking mozzarella sticks!! That’s how I now refer to all fellow airline passengers!

OH MY GOD! The coats in the overhead bin. I have a delightful story about this involving a pilot and his coat.

Come to Salt Lake! Our mountains are the same but you get weird alcohol rules, no legal weed, passive-aggresive Mormons...wait on second thought, I’m going to join you in crying about not living in Colorado. :(

I have an 8 yr old stepson that lives in a different state, and I would be over the moon if he decided he wanted to live with us when he’s a bit older. We’re hoping he will, a teenage boy wanting his dad and all that. Sucks that he has to choose, but we’ll love him no matter what.

Ugh, I’m the stepmom and his mom does the elf on the shelf thing, so we have to do it too, he’s only 8.

The first thing I thought of is why on earth is it that every time a white man kills multiple people, the pictures in the media always show him looking crazy?

I feel like this guy is the real-life version of Ryan the temp from The Office and what his life would have become if he hadn’t failed so hard at his first scheme with the Dunder Mifflin website and faking sales or whatever.

The starring role of the gal in the red dress (who was probably the choreographer) always threw me off.

Hayden Panetierre is like a real-life version of Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother!!!

I’ve realized that I had a pretty high range when I was younger, but then in my 20s it lowered a bit. Now that I’m mid-30s (no kids) I’m finding I can get higher and just generally have more power.

I was home for Christmas during my freshman year of college, and I’d gained the infamous “freshman fifteen.”

My dad said to me, “You’ve got dunlap syndrome!”
Me:....uhhhh what’s that?”
Dad: Your belly’s done lapped over your belt! [hilarious laughter]
Me: [develops eating disorder]

I had just left college in the middle of my junior year because my super religious (Mormon) parents didn’t like the guy I was dating and thought he was the one causing me to suddenly become a completely different person. (In reality, it was cripplingly severe depression that would go undiagnosed for another 13 years.)

As someone who cries constantly, I have so many embarrassing crying stories.

I’m one of those inactive Mormons that has decided to officially resign. I’m sure you can imagine how much the church remains a part of your life even when not attending if the majority of your family is Mormon. Even after resignation, the church will still be a big part of my life, just because of my family.

I’m currently trying to convince my partner that a vasectomy won’t be that bad, pain-wise, and he’ll be fine in a couple days. He’s not buying it and insists on finding someone who will do it under general anesthesia.

Yep, any Mormon person in a heterosexual relationship right now who is actually gay and thinking about coming out now just decided to forever remain in the closet out of fear of losing their children.