I wouldn’t stay in the green abyss for too long...

What the fuck is wrong with white people and status issues? They straight up don’t care if people think they’re racist because they care more about appearing “proper” to the people with “status.” It’s so repulsively class-based and so... 1950s. How the fuck is it 2015 and we’re still having COLLEGE STUDENTS so wrapped…

This is the base model of the interesting R2-D2 model:

They Might Be Giants is never wrong!

“Hey, parents who lost kids to guns, and you other communists who care about that, what you don’t understand is that your kid’s death was something that happened to YOU, while the possibility of me losing my gun is something that would happen to ME. So. Big difference.”

I mean: doctors get the good drugs.

Look, I know we all want to rush to judgment here but I’m guessing that, very reasonably, the man asked what those women were there for and they told him that they were there to cover a professional football team and he, quite rightfully, had to check if the Jaguars qualified.

God, it must really be awful for those creators to have a bunch of people on the internet making assumptions about their intentions and criticizing them publicly. Good thing it’s only on twitter though, imagine if there was a whole app, just for that!

You should see him shoot - nothing but nyet.

I haven’t seen a Russian dribble so much in court since the attempt to impeach Boris Yeltsin.

Cena is rapidly becoming the new Chuck Norris. I kinda like Cena better than Norris, though, so no problem with that.

In the poll, you should have a “yes, she’s awful but I wish she was bitchier” option.

I think it’d be better if they developed a Sealab 2021 game. I’ve created a new genre, it’s called “survival comedy”. You gotta survive the random antics of your annoying crew mates until you can be rescued.

The brotopian PS4. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was already a thing.

Even more ridiculous than the fire is the fact that they put it out.

Of course it happens to the only reasonable guy on the network. I adore Shep.

The first sign the company was in a tailspin should have been that the "Senior Communications Manager" was using Comic Sans as her e-mail font.