I have a calendar reminder every July 1 called “Bobby Bonilla Get Paid Day” with “Bobby Bonilla gets paid $1,190,000 by the Mets today” as the description. Great way to start that day.

fat suburban dads in Under Armour

That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.

The linked AOC tweet literally includes the sentence “The President is racist.”

I don’t eat two Polish sausages for breakfast just to let 19º get me down.

+both kinds

They say an F35 costs $85M but folks, folks, (pauses, waits for needless applause, points and smiles at random person), we’re gonna be winning so much. *finger guns* It’s gonna be great. They’re saying it’ll be the greatest. She was a bad, bad person, and we’re gonna lock her up.

They reportedly sent Tom Gamboa as well but he couldn’t hear.

The Bears had (maybe still have?) “The Fourth Phase”, putting drunkenly fighting with visiting fans during a blowout up there with offense, defense, and special teams.

I like that the stadium speakers played Pharoahe Monch - “Simon Says (Get the Fuck Up)“ after he went down from the punch.

Gamecocks players will get one last home game before heading off to the Cellino & Barnes Bowl

I starred this, so click here to add a tip.

“By the way, talk to, I notice is, whenever I speak to Nigerians who have been to Jamaica, they always say the same thing—or Jamaicans who’ve been to Nigeria!”

Excellent point. Yes.

Billy Baldwin is ready for the sequel.

*writes Marvel into headline, Stan Lee dies*

At least we’re on the same page with that.

Fun trivia item for you: they don’t.

I doubt anyone involved in this could care less about the navy.

Eric Dybas is jumping at the opportunity to see this.