Yep:

Pretty sure that 40% of alcohol sold in glass bottles doesn’t end up on the floor and no one complains about carrying a 1.5L bottle of Vodka home from the store or have trouble pouring it

Don’t listen to the people in the comments, Erik. Because, wow, they don’t get what it means to be a Jalop.

[points to wallet]

before we hate on bearfoot driving we should really be asking who’s giving bear’s keys?

“something cool” or just out-right crashes during a race? Good thing we didn’t do this with Maldonado; all new tracks would be full of Maldonado Corners.

Does that car contain shortbread cookies?

We warned and said that things would happen. Even this was a part of the predicted pattern. Summer without spring, winter without fall. It will, of course, eventually be the end of us all. I’d like to think humanity can change its ways. But it seems that we are hellbent on bringing the end of days.

If there’s one thing you can count on from Orange Dumbass, it’s that shit constantly spews from his upper asshole. It’s amazing how far you can get in life if you’re a mentally ill narcissist who is proud of being so willfully ignorant, yet here we are. We’ve got the man-baby with his pudgy little finger on the…

Only when it’s convenient, of course.

COUGH *** STATES RIGHTS *** COUGH

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

This is where I feel like the benefit of having big name sponsors would.. come in handy:

This is really simple. NOAA released advisories on Dorian the morning of Sept 1st both before and after Trump’s tweet. Neither mention Alabama AT ALL. They don’t mention Alabama because at that point and all points after, Alabama was never in danger from the hurricane. Trump was wrong. He made a mistake and instead of…

“Coastal elite democrats deny Alabama access to hurricane.”

I believe it’s called acid and you buy it in little squares of paper.

I think that’s a valid question and it’s always a tricky balancing act. Whenever I’m covering a story like this I always ask myself what I’d want to know about the contents of the letter without publishing the entire thing.

The robot is designed to scan crowds and target individuals who are too “jittery,” or have skin that is too “red-tinted,” as these are supposedly signs that someone is about to commit a terrorist act.