Don’t listen to the people in the comments, Erik. Because, wow, they don’t get what it means to be a Jalop.

[points to wallet]

before we hate on bearfoot driving we should really be asking who’s giving bear’s keys?

“something cool” or just out-right crashes during a race? Good thing we didn’t do this with Maldonado; all new tracks would be full of Maldonado Corners.

Does that car contain shortbread cookies?

If there’s one thing you can count on from Orange Dumbass, it’s that shit constantly spews from his upper asshole. It’s amazing how far you can get in life if you’re a mentally ill narcissist who is proud of being so willfully ignorant, yet here we are. We’ve got the man-baby with his pudgy little finger on the…

Only when it’s convenient, of course.

COUGH *** STATES RIGHTS *** COUGH

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

This is where I feel like the benefit of having big name sponsors would.. come in handy:

I believe it’s called acid and you buy it in little squares of paper.

The robot is designed to scan crowds and target individuals who are too “jittery,” or have skin that is too “red-tinted,” as these are supposedly signs that someone is about to commit a terrorist act.

I dunno, thinking about your mom’s hands usually helps me

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Design meeting:

“What should the failure mode be for the wave generator?”
“Nothing, it should just die quietly and stop functioning.”
“We could do that. Or.. and hear me out on this one...”

seriously Lewis.

Trump: Just look at this, we have a Santiago shooting up Great White Gilroy Garlic. It’s unbelievable, I told you they were criminals

Found the only guy on Kinja who also has de Pfeffel as a middle name.

A Hobbit stole her car?