So that's what this was about. Well, bloggers gotta eat, I guess.

What the hell did I just read? And are whippersnappers still dropping Pat Boone jokes, despite that the Eisenhower Administration is no longer in power?

This post is a miracle. It's time to listen to one of hip-hop's greatest songs:

No kidding, this is basically a Croque-Madame sandwich sans the gravy. The old French comfort food is a LOT simpler than this trainwreck.

"Why would you top it with a sunny-side up duck egg? Because why the fuck not, who gives a shit any more."

The sandwich is basically an over-complicated Croque-Madame, sans the gravy. The French classic looks like a heart attacker but it's damn good eatin'

"Does this sound like a man who had all he could eat?"

It's a quite poorly mixed vocal track. I blame the producer's cocaine stash.

This incident reminds me of this tacky Chippendales video. Beware the Eightiesness:

Today, I learned the Jailhouse Trick where you stay in jail in order to collect $$$ on your properties while never paying a dime.

Aw c'mon, just get a box of Legos or better yet, a Monopoly board game where 7-year-olds can learn about the wonderful world of rental housing, overpriced real estate, and being randomly jailed.

"Coming soon to 924 Gilman!"

Yep, Attention Marketing does wonders.

I was going to say. What is this, Breitbart? PCU?

Well, it looks like they are four years late on the Ahnold jokes. Moonbeam was more of a jogger than a bodybuilder (if I remember the Dead Kennedys' "California Uber Alles" right).

"She wrapped her legs around his waist. "I don't do anything slow."

I can hear the howls from the "Married with Children" studio audience.

You think IV is a shithole? I gather that you've never visited some of the student co-ops outside UC Berkeley. I've attended a antiwar activist party at a co-op where I saw a huge bloodstain on a wall and questioned a few residents about it. "Don't ask questions here," one warned me.

A lot of university cops are usually bored out of their skulls (most of their work involves parking tickets), and they'll jump at the chance of being Robocop.

From what I've heard over the years, most of the usual mayhem and drunken douchebaggery at Isla Vista are not committed by UCSB students. It's now time for a 2 a.m. burrito and a "pot brownie" at Freebirds.