My barber trims my ear rim hair and, thankfully, never utters a word about it. All business.

Grey is 100% better than losing it. 

Sometimes I feel like gray is better than losing it though? Like I know your hair is changing to the Color of Advanced Age, but at least you have hair! And then there are the poor saps who don’t bald symmetrically. 

I said once that I treat nose/ear hairs with the same policy as spiders - I will not seek you out in your dark places and hunt you down, but if you come into the light I will strike without mercy.

“Enjoy your “utopian” world, we’ll take reality.”

This is a good use of LinkedIn

You sound just like our liberal Congress people and President...

I’ve been really getting into Bart Sous-Vide lately.

It’s almost like sports and politics intersect a whole lot more than you’d like to believe, huh?

Cameron doesn’t seem to understand how the Internet works.  Apologizing when you’re wrong?  GTFO with that nonsense.  

How did Brian Switzer send six emails about the various things he loves and not once mention the most obvious (cocaine?)

Gonna start introducing myself at parties as a “a 75 year old straight greatgrandmother” who “you headline totally inaporopriate.” Should really get the conversation going.

Bart Fried

This day has been a banner day for appropriate Simpsons gifs in the comments.

The ironic syngery of “greenvegan2011" yelling about “FAKE NEWS” is just . . .

Well Chris, at least that guy only thinks your articles are quote-unquote putrid and not actually putrid.

Yeah, it’s almost depressing that most of the angry people are MAGA retreads spewing the same terrible shit.

“The _______ are ALL better ball players then you are a writer.”

Is it just me, or are these less funny since I can picture the President of the United States Tweeting most of them?