I went to a twitter feud the other night, and a hockey app broke out.

This okay, too?

STEAM (they added “Arts” to the acronym in most venues)

My first thought was “WTF were they thinking?!”

Epstein’s gonna flip like a pancake and take Dotard Donny with him. Pence is back home to start his duties as President.

Female Uber driver showed up. Caused the whole avalanche. Butterfly effect, man.

I have appointed myself the Kinja art decider.

That was su-su sussudio good.  have a star.

Someone give this man a damn Pulitzer

Dear Penthouse,

Jesus Christ. Making a tea sipping gesture is having some fun. Not “acting like a complete prick”. Acting like pricks would be intentionally hurting opponents or going to press conferences and talking about how overmatched teams like Thailand and Chile suck. 

Note to the Haters: If you don’t like they way they partied when they won, you should have beaten them. If you expected them to act like “ladies” instead of confident, motivated, elite athletes, you shouldn’t have invited them.

That is.... absolutely horrifying. What’s scarier is the fact that you just slapped this together in two seconds and it just looks like the face naturally belongs there.

I assume all the Democratic presidential candidates are attempting to track this guy down to award a Presidential Medal of Freedom when the time comes. 

Literally no one associated with the team would attend. Not. One. Single. Person. 

Because they’re women is why he did it. The fact that Megan Rapinoe also said she’s not going to the fucking White House. Dotard Donny will make it about her insulting the White House and America with her comment, even though he called it a dump. 

How dare they behave more like the men! The women should act like ladies!

It is incredible that the USA can produce a team capable of dominating a sport on a global stage, beating up on evil socialist European countries, and uniting a decent cross section of America behind them and the fucking president still picks a fight with them.

They were unapologetically American. Brash and confident. They came in as the favorite and they didn’t try to downplay that fact with an “Aww shucks we’re just happy to be here and we’re gonna try real hard.” attitude. They owned that and then danced on the graves of anybody who dared doubt them. And it was fucking…

Now, THIS, is the kind of report that will carry me through the day. Fuck that, I’m carrying this gem with me for the remainder of the week.