Impossible. Five minutes in prison and the man would explode into a million bats and escape.

Will he forge these documents with crayon or eyeliner?

“The call was PERFECT!”

Jesus Christ, Travis Tritt looks like Renee Zellweger disguised as Travis Tritt.

Trump really needs to be careful though because the some in the GOP will only be quiet for so long.  

Yeah, he’d been a running gag for decades to people who looked the tiniest bit beyond the image he tried to manicure.

You’re thinking the ‘bar’ is something high and hard to get over, right, like a hurdle? Apparently the ‘bar’ is actually more like limbo. The less spine and solid matter in your body, and higher ooze-ability, the easier it is.

I'm no political scientologist, but I talked to a guy who OWNS A BRIEFCASE and he said all of this could have TOTALLY HAPPENED.

Trump is a dangerous idiot, but he showed he was a dangerous idiot early on in his campaign and did nothing to disprove it. The most galling thing* to me about his Presidency just might be the “adults” covering up the toddlers mess(es) by laying newspaper over it.

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?

So they did the things the whistleblower accused them of doing but the whistleblower was totally inaccurate and not even a whistleblower! Wow, that’s a lot of hot air he’s blowing today.

Kind of tells you everything you need to know about how scandalous or world-changing those secrets are. If the US gov’t really did capture some aliens or whatever the fuck, that soup-brained moron would’ve said something about it by now.

Boy are the greys cranky today. Lets think about this for a second: I suggest that faux news executives and the rich people behind them are going to lose their wealth and power in the years to come due to their own innate stupidity. Angry Trols: “Not going to happen! Chaos at Faux News won’t do that! Hows’ Obama’s ACA…

wrong guy

“Paul is embarrassed about Trump and now he has the power to do something about it”

“Hey! Let’s blow the cover of a CIA agent.”

Whatever are you referring to? Competent lawyers routinely expose the existence of key evidence in their possession to opposing parties. 

i forget, what was it that happened to him. syphilis? a stroke?

I think he threw Pence under the bus a while ago, when he was contemplating replacing him on the ticket with somebody more entrancing. I haven’t caught up with his more recent stuff. If he’s throwing Pence under the bus right now, he’s probably trying to signal to the Republican senators that if they vote to impeach…

I’m just... confused? What the hell is going on in that pudding brain? Why did he throw Pence under the bus almost completely out of nowhere?