My soul cries out in agony - succor comes from Fox News personalities.  If they say war with Iran is bad, Trump will believe it is bad.

Hang on... which Affleck?

The constitution is burning to ash, our civil rights are being challenged directly because backwoods fuckwads are emboldened by Drunky McPerjorface on the SCOTUS, we’re making war noises at the middle east for specious reasons (again), and POTUS fails to recognize the tarriffs he’s imposing are paid by American…

Sure but that was God.  Jesus is the new hotness.  He’s totally chill with mistresses and forced birth.  Bonus halos if you make it a twofer.

That’s the loophole, now an absolute necessity in Alabama and soon everywhere.

I think my silver lining is made out of mercury.

I think you have that backwards.  Abortions are illegal, corporations are people, so you can’t abort corporations.  That means its time to start your grow shop or yoga barn or hamster dating service, because those darling little babies have a right to life, and no one is allowed to pull the plug!

That’s because the alien parasite living inside Cheney’s left nostril kept bringing it up.  Luckily the White House is mostly white, so Pence just fades into the background.

I only ever invest in a remaster if it’s something I didn’t get to play the first time around. Most games tend to age poorly, though. The only series in recent memory that was worth going back to was Halo.

He’s what happens if John Mulaney weren’t funny or charismatic.

It’s a good argument for the estate tax.

I don’t care if schadenfreude taints my soul or makes me an asshole.  This makes me happy.

It feels more like idiocy on purpose rather than bona fide ignorance.  The common denominator in all of these conflicts is that weapons move and our military gets larger.  If the military has no war it has no purpose, and if it has no purpose it’s harder to justify throwing more money at it.

Oh, good.  The Two Minutes Hate is official.

You can only justify the morality if there’s no hypocrisy. If a person feels that all life is sacred they should be out on the streets every day protesting police brutality, military conflict, cutting off aid programs, and not providing maternal healthcare as a universal right. Their morality only goes as far as…

No it’s not.  The talking snake only convinced HER to eat the fruit, and then she used her evil wiles to seduce him into eating it.  Original Sin is almost more the woman’s fault than the snake’s.

Rights, but what about responsibilities?  I’m guessing not so much.

It’s pretty clear they don’t like him very much.

This feels custom-made to go to SCOTUS for Roe appeal.

I suspect this will happen sooner or later.  The number of kids who have witnessed or know someone who has witnessed gun violence in schools is growing.  Psychological trauma sticks with you, and eventually the youth become the culture.