Exactly which is nothing like actually having cancer. Plenty of women have it done as prevention when they see their mothers, sisters, and aunts suffering/dying of cancer but they don’t claim to have cancer themselves. Angelina’s situation shouldn’t have been and shouldn’t still be reported as she had cancer. She had…

The crazy thing about this whole thing is...

“Did you hate that thing he did with his tongue, too?”

Mel Gibson

Maybe a photo caption? I didn’t realize at first this was Haim and not the unnamed rapist.

Wait a minute... where does the shit- prefix come in? Because I have a shit-ton of stuff that I’m going to procrastinate about until I get an answer.

It’s metric, actually. Just as we have millimeter, centimeter, kilometer, and so forth, the prefix “fuck” is a unit of measure at the top of the scale, over “ass” and “butt”. So, as an example, we start with the suffix “ton”, and in order smallest to largest, we have:

Colin Powell has served his country long and well

My grandmother can leave me wondering sometimes if I was burned, or if my sister was straight up insulted. “Why don’t you wear the other dress? It helped your sister look thin.” It’s like she’s got to get in a twofer.

Damn, now I miss my grandma.

“She seems like she’s smart enough to insist on paying after the wedding though.”

Guys, I think we got played.

If it had fallen on him I would have started going back to Church (my mom would be thrilled). Close but no cigar, Jesus.

I find that marijuana helps on all counts. It blunts your attention to stray Fox noise, it removes your “oh, but maybe I need to keep this many assholes in my Facebook life” filters, and it makes ice cream taste like the best thing you’ve ever encountered since the dawn of Time.

Anybody else finding themselves sighing frequently, not enjoying things, like ice cream, as much, constantly feeling on the verge of unexpected violent tears? Anyone else get queasy when they turn on the news, cynical when they open their Facebook and wary when strangers start talking in a doctor’s waiting room that…

Exactly. That’s why you eat the WHOLE bag and drink the WHOLE bottle. And then you throw the trash in the neighbor’s trashcan, the one that conveniently leaves it out beside the garage, but right by the fence, and you’ve got long arms so it’s easy to reach, and...

But he ignores Tiffany, so she’s the lucky one

Master Van Winkle did a couple of home renovation shows a few years back, and I was rolling my eyes, like, “Ok, Vanilla Ice. You swing that hammer.” But damned if son didn’t know what he was doing and double dog damned if he wasn’t charming as all get out. I found him utterly endearing and now I have a soft spot for…

Ok ABC. Just end the competition now, give Laurie the mirror ball trophy, and give us 8-10 weeks of Laurie and Val dancing for an hour.