calipeach
CaliPeach
calipeach

Especially since we* do it, but if an actual black person mentions slavery it’s “omg that was like 200 years ago get over it already.”

“I was just cleaning it and it went off in my hand.”

Typical. “Well, she consented to have sex with THAT guy, so we thought....”

Soooo... question: If it was a manufacturer mistake, does that mean there is a toy out there that was supposed to have a peaceful Muslim prayer that now makes fighter jet noises?

Looked like a spray bottle to me (“F-16” being a knock off of “Formula 409”)

What is it with transportation vehicles and trying to force me to go to church!? If one more car transforms into a robot and asks me to attend mass more or another boat speaks in a deep rumbling man’s voice and asks me to convert to Judaism or one more fucking terrorist airplane shrinks down into a child sized toy to

I think that he is working on a full English breakfast at this point.

So, here’s a crazy idea: when a kid reaches a certain amount of lunch debt, a social worker or school administrator reaches out to the kid’s family to try to find out why: is the kid going to school with lunch money every day and getting it taken on the way to school? Are they just spending it on chips in the morning?

What worries me about Trump is that you can’t really win against a troll; they’re not beatable because they have no shame and no limits. He’s a giant ego monster and the only thing that can affect him is people not paying attention to him. That would kill him but the media is too invested in the chaos he’s causing to

OMG! I’m going to use the “pig” and “sausage” analogy EVERYTIME some sexist or jerk uses the “cow” analogy! Thanks!

My grandmother also warned me about the dangers of giving milk away for free. I came back with, “well, why would I buy an entire pig when all I want is a little sausage?”

OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

“If all environmental legislation encountered this little pushback, we’d be set.”

They don’t effectively exfoliate skin. Just eyeballs, I guess.

Good. I once scratched my cornea with facial wash that had microbeads in it. Ended up going to the clinic. Between that and the eye drops, my wallet was much lighter and my hatred for those little plastic balls of evil grew.

Here goes my rant!

I don’t understand just dancing with girls to just dance.

Someone threatened to kill the survivors!?!

You could build an entire house out of all that straw.

Fuck you, Charlie Sheen, for making me agree with Justin Bieber.