My woke son Jarapahat, 3, is allergic to tacos. “Tacos are made by Monsanto,” he told me, “and you are complicit in the hyper-corporatization of the food industry.”

GQ’s Drew Magary weighs in:

Wait...so how would the IOC even know if Lochte got held up or not? Were they there? Or did they just flat-out deny it for optics purposes?

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

I wouldn’t be shocked if Tiger makes a surprise appearance once he gets wind of this mysterious “bird aphrodisiac” he’s just gotta try out.

It’s lucky for the golfers that, much like the Tiger they encountered on tour, most of these animals don’t pose a threat.

...are you new here?

There’s a difference between the target and the topic of a joke. If you learn that difference, you might enjoy more things. And maybe you’ll be less annoying in general.

Molitor required an eight-hour surgery and had her jaw wired shut

Any truth the rumor that Leitch is considering raising funds to buy Gawker media just to put a stop to the reporting on Cardinals losses?

Suarez would have saved that goal.

At least he’s all bark this time.

Or there’s a video where nothing went wrong at all, and you would’ve never been part of something fun, and apparently community-oriented like this? Looks slow and safe enough to me. Plenty of people in the seemingly shallow area too.

I said it when the whole scandal began, the only appropriate penalty is to disband the program. If so much of the football leadership was intent on covering this up in order to save the program, then that’s exactly what they should lose. Let every player transfer without penalty and pack it up (without levying anymore…

I just don’t have any more words about the level of sadness, but mostly anger, this whole story makes me feel.

Ha. In what way are the students at the school being punished, exactly?