I find this oddly charming in its strange little way.

7? hour flight from Seattle to Reykjavik, surrounded by a HS tour group. Teenagers everywhere. It was an overnight flight but did any of them shut up for even a moment? Oh no. The kid across from me spoke exclusively in doge meme speak FOR SEVEN FUCKING HOURS WOWE MUCH RAGE SO GO FUCK YOURSELF

This is more weird than gross, but once on a delayed transatlantic flight, there was a little old Asian lady in the seat in front of me. She had a ziploc baggy with an ear of corn in it, and she spent the entire time we were waiting on the tarmac picking the kernels off one by one and eating them.

Not a “worst story” but one of the sweetest. Sitting behind me once was a mom and her son. He was maybe six. She had woken him up that morning and told him they were going to visit grandma. About halfway into the flight, she broke it to him that they were really going to Disney World. Kid was beyond excited. It was…

The worst thing I’ve seen on an airplane? That would flames enveloping the engine outside my window... If it was heard, then of course it would be the preceding Very Loud Bang, and maybe the following half hour of utter silence as absolutely nobody spoke, including the pilot or flight attendants.

Maybe this doesn’t qualify (and I am stuck in the greys anyway):

I was in training in Wilkes-Barre, PA and was flying to my fiance’s graduation. I was worried about missing flights (I had connections) , so I got there early. I was sitting at the gate reading, and this traveling salesman walks up, sits next to me (there was literally no one else there) and says, “looks like it’s me…

The inside of a lavatory of for over an hour as I was stuck inside.

How about just the funniest?

I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

Ew.

I was flying with my parents from the US to London when I was a kid. It was the middle of the flight, I was trying to sleep, when I heard a loud BANG and gasps from around me. I sit up to look and one grown man was stomping on the head of another grown man in the aisle. Apparently head stompee was drunk and harassing…

A few years ago, I was in the middle seat on a crowded flight. This massive dude ambles down the aisle and plops next to me. Bad start. The second we’re in the air, he reaches into his briefcase and brings out this incredibly worn manila folder. It has so many overlapping stains (coffee? alcohol? organic matter?) you…

Different kind of worst, but...

My reflection in the bathroom mirror towards the end of a long flight.

Look, I was going through a bad break-up, OK?

I mean I can’t think about this story without laughing but I imagine others on the plane thought it was awful.

There was this adorable little pigtailed girl who was I feel like around 4 years old...? The plane takes off, and like she looks really nervous all of the sudden and her parents are comforting her and telling…

I once was flying from DC to Vegas on a Friday, mid-morning. I sat with several strippers. Apparently it’s not uncommon for dancers to fly out to Vegas on the weekend and make a shit ton of money. Anyway, I’m terrified of flying and proceeded to order several bourbon and cokes. My hand was shaking so hard (fear, not…

The guy in the row behind had a huge coughing fit. Flight’s over, walking down the jetway, my nephew looks over at my sister and says, “Ooo, what’s in your hair?”

This isn’t that great but: My brother and I were stuck taxii(i?)ing for like four hours on the plane once before take off and this girl in college sitting behind us spent the better part of TWO HOURS on the phone complaining about it with her mom, then her boyfriend, then the flight attendant in between phone calls,…