You need karaoke style lyrics for your own music? In your own car? Where you'll probably be by yourself 90% of the time and nobody cares if you don't know all the words?

Here's how to make your resignation as a city councilman as memorable as possible (non-shameful division)

Someone else made a similar point I just replied to.

I wonder if he has to try to sell the coin itself before the law kicks in, especially considering he's made money off the carvings by casting and selling replicas. It depends whether that constitutes "increasing its value" or if you literally have to attempt to sell/use the original for more than face value before it…

That would be the shortest running spin-off of CSI ever.

Manufacturing counterfeit United States currency or altering genuine currency to increase its value is a violation of Title 18, Section 471 of the United States Code and is punishable by a fine of up to $5,000, or 15 years imprisonment, or both...

That's what I was thinking would be useful. Not a ton of people are going to need it, but it would still be more than the 0 who will use the included Nokia charger.

Thank God! I've been wondering how to charge my iPad, Bluetooth, and 6085 all at the same time. Ordered two for work and home.

Time to change your undies?

Troll better

Bars are for drinking, not for smoking. If you want to smoke and drink go to any one of the places where that's still acceptable, like a hookah lounge or cigar bar, or outside on the patio of your favorite bar (which almost any bar that's not crammed into a hole in the middle of Baltimore has), or stand outside for 5…

I get where you were going with the joke, except alcohol is actually good for you in moderate quantities while smoking cigarettes is universally bad.

Do you want a Red Bull, because that joke was tired.

What about my "right" not to worry about getting cancer, stinking, and having my throat and sinuses irritated if I want to go out to a bar? The problem is, back when you could smoke in bars literally EVERY bar here in Maryland allowed smoking. It doesn't matter if it's in a certain section, you can smell it through…

I've only ever made one New Year's Resolution of any kind. Ever. It was to cancel my gym membership. Turned out a stunning success.

Let people decide for themselves what wish for and as long as it doesn't hurt you or infringe on your person then you have no say in the matter.

I've always said Maryland should take over Delaware so we can get rid of their crappy low speed limits. We should also take back Chincoteague and the rest of Maryland that Virginia stole from us; it's not even connected to them. Then we can give back the part of Maryland past 70 that really belongs to West Virginia…

I love everybody who's mentioning what a douchebag, hipster, etc. you'll look like in these glasses. I don't even think they understand what those words mean. How do these glasses make you an asshole? They're just something funny that people will want to stop and talk to you about. Isn't the whole purpose of partying…

I tweeted 43 times this year. 51 if you include me retweeting other people. That's almost once a week!

Way to ruin the joke, Debbie!