She IS a poet. May we never doubt again.

Is Yoko Ono talking about cat pee/black lights? Has she been addressing the cats all this time?? I suddenly have clarity.

More than a dozen? That’s like saying Bill Gates is more than a millionaire.

I am really “happy” for these women, in a way. I hope that they are finding great strength and solace in each other and surprising relief in airing their painful burdens...

I believe the entire child-embarrassing parent thought process is actually just “UGGGGHHH...”

And the whole rambling mess only takes three compound German words, I bet!

Silly nanny needs to study more Coco Chanel: look in the mirror and remove [maybe more than] one accessory. She’s looking like Jersey does Hollywood and it’s... inexpensive.

Nah, that one goes “something something”, “2 bombf 4 Kampf”

Do you listen to his podcast? He lays that voice on - ahem - thick. He knows and that’s allllllright.

Oh no. Am I... actually Lena Dunham???

I’m a semi-reformed former pastry chef. Come on and sit over here by me *pats stool at the kitchen counter*

You’re right, I SHOULD run for President on the Republican ticket. Colbert their asses.

Being a hustler really is a great equalizer. Respect to bro.

A Pinch of Corn is a cocktail that I want to drink.

That’s adorable and wonderful and I am a little jealous across the entire timeline of my life. I grew up around horses too (like, real country, no real training), so I’m just giving you a hard time.

If it’d been a bear, the second half of that story would’ve incorporated poop.

I begged and begged my not-wealthy, non-religious parents to send me to a pricey Jesus Camp that my best friends went to and LOVED. For some reason, they relented. Things were vaguely, I don’t know, Robin Hood themed? We wore little felt hats that really looked more like Peter Pan’s jam, and gave ourselves punny…

Ah, another successful graduate from the Shaggy School of Plausible Deniability.

Sorry, not sorry... You were in an actual PONY CLUB. Wut.

2 BAMF 4 campf