Tourist: “Excuse me, what side of the boat will the whale be on?”

I’m sure they’re all different, but my dog also hates the groomers at PetSmart. They have to use every restraint on my 10-pound dog and then he screams like a small child.

I do not know what it is where you are from but we may have very different perceptions of what WASP means here.

SHES SO SCRAGGLY

doxing self; whatevs

My dog is just fine with the ballrooms (we have two) but freaks out if I take him into the servants’ wing. I have to remind him, “They may be servants, but they’re people too.”

“he simply cannot tolerate the parquet, darling!” - this is funnier in the voice of Endora from Bewitched

“and the dog was afraid to enter the ballroom” This is an issue I have with my ballroom ALL THE TIME :/

“My Transparent Roommate,” Sundays at 8 on TLC

10/10, would rent from Redbox.

Wait. Joe Smithson? Like, Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion? Nothing says a deep and abiding faith like using your religion's leader as inspiration for your covert hook-ups. Blessed be.

I had an experience very similar to this back when I was waiting tables. I apologized profusely to the table for the delay and we comped quite a bit of their check, but they still left me zero on over a hundred dollar bill. And complained I wasn’t happy and enthusiastic about serving them. My mother had recently been…

“shouldn’t have to” is correct. unfortunately “have to live in reality and deal with it anyway” is also correct

first, if you’ve worked in a restaurant, even as a manager, you’ve probably already had your hand pressed into a hot grill or splashed by a fryer or something similar at least once. i have scars on the backs of my hands that i can still identify and attribute to particular restaurant equipment. so the scars would just…

There is nothing, NOTHING, in this world that you need so badly to have to put up with this treatment from people.

There is a difference between “you shouldn’t have to deal with people like this and be treated like shit to earn a living” and actually being able to do something about it that won’t get you fired.

Everyone else needs to stand up for the worker if they see shit like this, if the asshole is complaining to the manager, you should complain to the manager about that customer, and if the manager bends over backwards for the asshole, then people should tell the manager if you do that, I am not coming back. I wonder…

I wanted to smack that guy on the nose like the dogs we owned when I was a kid and say “NO, BAD MAN! HER FOOD! HER FOOD!” While moving the desert back across the table to her. I expect it would end with me locking him in a closet while the wife ate her desert.

100 combo meals at McDonald’s? Really. Jesus, if you’ve got 100 drunk people to feed, order pizzas like a normal person.