I thought the background music was from the same rocketry failure montage in The Right Stuff?

Where would they get their tiki torches from?

Things scientists have said that there is nothing to be concerned about since the beginning of the 20th Century, ranked:

They did a real nice job against the Colts on Sunday.

Wait ‘til they bring that sushi casserole on in here...

As I read it, he only admitted that he wasn’t one kind of person. He could still be a potted plant and not be a “football person.”

Mark Emmert - as soon he dies, the conferences will squabble amongst themselves and Balkanize collegiate sports.

Why is he trying to fire a pickaxe? Was that an early version of Minecraft?

Came here looking for Osweiler, stayed for the contemptuous condescension of a communications major toward the suburban bourgoisie whose gratuitous consumption he will eventually embrace as his high-minded opinions and ideals are slowly taken out to sea by the tide of the American celebration of mediocrity.

Fuck Roger Gooddell with an aluminium lawn tractor

So if we know that TRAPPIST-1 is a red dwarf, and that 3 planets seem to have still have water despite this, can we deduce that those planets also have some kind of magnetic field and thus a warm, metallic core like Earth?

No, it’s like dodgeball if dodgeball were played in the moon, with croquet wickets

8 billion light years is 2 trillion parsecs. Which is 142 billion Kessel runs. Fire up the hyperdrive, Chewie!

Gosh, what a fucking surprise that a Giants season ticket holder and personal friend of Mara would interfere in an NFL investigation against a division rival. Imagine if a former Jets executive found himself working in the league office when bullshit charges were brought against New England?

Are you trying to get Josh Gordon? Because this is how you get Josh Gordon.

So I bought this thing (good marketing, FO!) and the intro includes this wonderful snippet:

given their disdain for anything not thought up in 17th Century France, it’s probably called “agitation inutile”

No, it was “Hang me”

That adjective has been outpaced by both the White House and the Landover Unaccountably Racist Epithets. I think jokes involving either personnel base should be considered ‘outminuted’.

It only didn’t secede because Lincoln allowed them to continue slavery there. Although the accent is somehow even worse than Alabama’s, the content spewing from yokels that populate Maryland’s farm country is every bit as vile as that of the Southern Man.