Golden beets and the candy cane beets taste as good and don't stain AND ALWAY use the beet green and steam in your salad nomnomnonmnononono

A few weeks ago, I was in a class for work, and we had a catered in lunch. The girl sitting next to me said, “Oh, I hope they have something gluten free.” I responded with “Oh, you have Celiac disease?” To which she replied, “No, I’m just kindof intolerant. Like if I eat gluten, I get bad heartburn.”

This camp has everything- A scary tower. A submerged train. Abandoned structures. That thing where bats fly in your face.

I don’t know, seems legit. The person on my facebook feed that talks about bulletproof coffee all the time is also someone who really likes essential oils and homeopathy and also has Really Big Opinions about auras. So.

You could always explain to them that the coffee isn’t cold, they’re merely feeling the icy grasp of the grave.

As an avid multi-cups a day tea drinker, that definition is spot on. Feeling sad? Cup of tea. Celebrating? Cup of tea. Your head’s come off? Cup of tea. You’re dead? Cup of tea.

A device that tracks the amount of times your steering wheel is turned vs blinker activation. If the ratio is greater than 3:1 no reversal.

There should be some kind of operation that people get when being born that makes people unable to reproduce, then when they are old and want to have kids that operation can be reversed, but only after passing a series of test that prove you are not a douchebag.

What kind of monster eats cheese on their guacamole?

Uuuugggghh, reminds me of when my coworkers all go on this three week cleanse. None of what you mentioned, and no chile either. Made ordering lunch for the office a bitch. They’d also drink this special “cleansing” tea and eat next to nothing and then marvel about how they’d lost 5 pounds and how their body was…

If a Vegan does crossfit, what do they rush to tell you about first?

Sup, Booga?

“pre-born” sounds like a concept from a really disturbing dystopian YA novel

I hear you, and you will continue to get this treatment on issues that are traditionally more female-oriented*. More than once I’ve had a babysitter ask me, upon my arrival home, if she needed to wait for mom to get home. Sure, I’m fully capable, but if you want to wait four more hours...

This is very true. My hair also naturally dries super straight, which is something I know a lot of women would kill for. I would much rather have gorgeous waves, or even ringlets. The grass is always greener, I guess.

I missed the day at Lady Camp where they taught us how to do our freaking hair— curling, straightening, braiding, etc. Seems like all the ladies know how to manage a ‘do but me. I’ve publicly chalked it up to wanting that extra 1/2 hour of sleep, but admittedly, it’s also about not knowing how to make my hair look…

I am TERRIBLE at doing my hair. I have ultrathin, flat hair that doesn’t hold a curl or hairspray or product very well at all. I can do three things: 1) leave it down (it gets really flat really quickly) 2) put in an anemic pony tail 3) put it in a tiny topknot IF my hair is cooperating and I have time to fuck up a…

Cmon, beets are tasty, nutritious, and as a bonus with the red ones you get to see what your poo would look like if you were bleeding internally!

Starbucks is sounding increasingly like the most annoying chick I went to college with. Want to lay bets on whether its next initiative has to do with "spacing out" vaccinations or something incomprehensible about crystals?

I'm lucky. The worst I ever had was a boss who tried to get us to sign but not date resignation forms so we would never be fired but could be kicked out for any reason, berated me for taking a sick day whenI ruptured a disc (and then trying to work after rupturing a disc of her own, and ending up hospitalized), and…