Kyle Schwarber Has Not Been Cleared To Play The Field

As with pretty much every other high stakes match-up in 2016 you’re better off rooting for the third option:

That one did get me to lol.

Me thinks his tongue be lodged in his cheek:

Who? Oh, that guy who spent the last few years napping in the dugout?

Holy crap! Lambrusco and Swedish Fish? I got a cavity just by reading that.

Steve-o?

I’m way more tired of Trump embarrassing us...

Any more wrong than Trump or Hillary?

The Ottoman Empire was still going strong the last time the Cubs won the WS.

Oh, and no crying 16 year old girls on television declaring how they’ve never seen a Cubs’ World Series and they’ve “been waiting my whole life.”

Gahhhhh! Shut up about Bartman already. He’s not the one who gave up 8 runs in the bottom of the 8th.

I’d be willing to bet that they’d actually start losing “fans” because of this.

Clinton v. Trump

It was a pretty good drive Van Gogh.

I see what you were Gaugin for there but it was too much of a stretch.

Yup, built a workbench in my garage and the entire time I kept saying, “the one tool that would make this project so much easier is a goddamn workbench!”

Maybe pencil me for 11:45?

Diana, can you please, please, please launch your own publication! You need to be the boss!

No matter what team you’re rooting for, I think we can all agree that Angel Hernandez is a terrible umpire.