A child crying, “my brother is gone”.

Or, if they do not wish to be married, filing a proper will.

But seriously, where the hell is Peace Talks?

Given the pace at which he writes, you should expect a two sentence reply in 6-8 months.

Unfathomable, ha! Nautical pun.

“Why do people say ‘grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you want to be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

Trouble is, even when the answer to the question turns out to be, “the use of force was actually appropriate” people are unwilling to accept it as a valid answer.

Or

The fact that they cut straight to Rudy Giuliani almost seems surreal.

I dunno, reports are that Kaepernick is moving jerseys now, the execs are probably ok with him as long as that keeps up.

I don’t know if I more scared of an overabundance of life in the universe or an extreme scarcity of life in the universe.

Shame-laugh.

Why does everything need a reboot?!? The original was so much better:

It’s a good bar game, queue it up on the juke box and try and count how many people start headbanging.

We can use the anthem like a quality control survey.

Serious question:

Usually, the people who say it’s about the troops are liars. They can’t come up with a decent argument so you guys become their logic pawns. Those are the same people who will go on and on about how “supporting the troops” the most important thing, but continue to support legislators who would rather stick it to Obama…

I wasn’t aware it was physically possible to sit during a Queen song, outside of a car. Just like you can’t not headbang (even if it’s just a little) during that one part of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Yes that’s a weird time to learn it. You should have learned it in first grade little league.

If it touched the cup in foul territory, yes. But that clause was written with things likes discarded bats, dugout fences, and stadium walls in mind.