Its a class 4 felony in a city that saw a 100 shootings and double degit murders in one weekend , ppl need to get out of their feelings  like they do when a kid is on the ground with 16 bullets in his back .

This is probably the best take. Regardless of whether he actually lied or not, this clearly isn’t a matter of life and death. This doesn’t need to be treated like the crime drama of the century. Chicago has bigger fish to fry.

Yeah I mean it’s not like a bunch of people haven’t already gone to jail and/or flipped.

To Live and Die with $3K in LA

Jezebel-writers, stop fucking publishing stuff that makes her dad money and invades her privacy, like publishing her private correspondence specifically asking him to stop selling any scrap, true or untrue, for money to the press.

That would constitute journalism; they’re only paid for “post screenshot of tweet, embed tweet, retype tweet, publish”.

I’ll warm up the crowd:

Julia Louis-Dreyfus can stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot someone and I would still vote for her. She can do no wrong. 

Why did I read this to the tune of “Synchronicity II” by The Police?

Here’s your star. Now go take a time-out and think about what you just did.

If Trump gets indicted, I hope he’s....

JOHN KELLY IS IN BED. THE PHONE RINGS AND THE ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP

How much can I get for a working iPhone 4S?

It means being on parole/probation.  

An incredible number of people, especially internationally. For one example, look at John Oliver’s segment on Myanmar. 

“And it ends the way they all do.... you die and your wife sells it at an estate sale to afford a used Jag for her new boyfriend down in Florida.”

The problem with Harleys is the same problem with Corvettes.....

You spend all your life from your childhood wanting one until you can finally (barely) afford one only to realize that everyone else has one and you are once again indistinguishable from the masses.

So you spend $20k modding it only to realize that you…

I think it’s the product of a Spock mask surplus.

“You should do that baby, and no more will you cry”> 💜