I can’t believe you didn’t just say ‘more Colin Hanks less Chet Haze’ or whatever his alt name is.

This was funny, but when I saw the title on Twitter it really god my hopes up that he had been fired.

Martin O’Malley is leading a #noshamrocks campaign

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I’m 100% on her side and 100% opposed to the alt-right. On the other hand, her special was not good. I’m a fan of her show, and I liked her movie a lot, and I liked her previous special, but this one sucked, frankly.

The only Tavi I know.

God, he’s adorable. I want to sit on his face.

WHY DONT YOU BUY A GODDAMNED WHEELCHAIR AND PUT ME IN IT

I’ve been active duty military for ten years (not the Marines). This was an incredibly depressing story to see break today, but what actually gives me some hope is the strong, emphatic push back online from some male Marines that this is not who the Corps should be. People with real influence are starting to speak out…

Some people really, really don’t like other people enjoying things.

I’m just gonna say it: I like Coldplay. I think Chris Martin seems like a really nice, sweet, nerdy guy AND I think he’s cute. I think themed parties are fun no matter how old you are. That’s it.

Nah, I agree. But I do love the phrase “tit chandelier.”

My wife and I wake up every morning in hopes of finding the pee-pee tapes splashed across the internet.

I swear I wake up every morning waiting for the final domino to fall in this atrocious presidency. Then I call my senators (who don’t answer of course) sign 25 petitions that feel totally futile, and refresh my web pages incessantly until it’s time to drink myself into a stupor, fall asleep and do it all again the…

did you hear that one about how once upon a time Ed Sheeran got drunk and hit Justin Bieber in the face with a golf cart?

“nothing burger”

John Mellencamp sounds exactly like every person I’ve ever dated. And also like my dad. 🤔

Such a heartening sign when the future attorney-general lies under oath.

I teach high school and I will NEVER break up a girl fight. Boys, just stand in between them, tell everybody to calm down, it’s all over. Girls have been planning this shit for MONTHS, they will bring up petty shit from like kindergarten and they are out to murder anyone and everyone in their way. NOPE.

Balloons are Having A Year!

Is it just me or is she seriously channeling the Queen here?