I was a Girl Scout up until high school, and every year I take an order form from my stepsister and post it up at the bar I manage. This year, us drunks bought 500+ dollars in cookies. I wish childhood me had been as enterprising as to think of a bar as the best place to sell cookies.

Get out.

This is my roommates chunk Kiki, after a month of low cal food and regular laser pointer activity. She snores like a drunk man.

As an avid diver octopi really scare me, after seeing one flash his beak (!!!!) at me, nah!

Nooooooooooooooo *chugs more wine*

I came here to post the same gif.

The saddest feeling just came over me as I drink wine out of my Goose Island Bourbon County glass, my roommate broke my crate and barrel gorgeous Olivia pope wine glass that was one back order for MONTHS. The only thing that can fix this is nakey Scott Foley.

This is how I will follow the debate tonight, because let’s get real, it’s Shonda time. Omg can shonda be bernie’s VP?! I've had a few Olivia Pope glasses of Malbec and this seems like a GREAT IDEA.

Boom, called it on the drunk.

I'm guessing that interaction we just saw will solidify that one, looks like she was drunkenly arguing.

I managed a movie theater during the heyday of Frozen (seriously, it ran for NINE WEEKS, four shows a day), and my office was right above the theater it played in. I have never seen a single frame of the movie, but I have heard ‘let it go’ more times than the average five year old.

Ughhhh Demi, pleaseeeeee tell me that's not real fur...

I just got back to Chicago from a trip to Nashville, finished up some court case stuff for the boyfriend. Long story short boys stay in cheap hotels and he just happened to get attacked and robbed and beaten, and this hotel was trying to say they shouldn’t pay. He got a hefty settlement without having to to to trial…

If you're going to play a game on your phone/iPad, turn the friggin sound off! I don't care if you're halfway decent at spider solitaire. Neither do the other 100+ people on board.

How are they missing the clear business name of ‘Womb Babe’?

This season is the one where I finally stopped hoping Carl would get eaten. He was insufferable for awhile there.

My boyfriends mom was genuinely confused when I said I was voting for Sanders, and asked me ‘why not Marco Rubio, he seems like such a cool guy!’

I remember wanting to wimp out of a Tb test to become a camp counselor for the Girl Scouts when I was younger, and my mom getting me through the test by graphically describing what happens to the human body when TB takes over, to distract me from the many pokies. Thanks Doctor mom.

The Boyf and I made a spur of the moment trip to New Glarus today, so I'm sippin on some Moon Man. The wind chill tomorrow is supposed to be -20, so I also got pizza supplies, doing a pizza and Netflix day tomorrow, not leaving my couch.

I shamefully tried out for the real world several years ago, made it decently far but was cut. I'm so fucking happy I didn't make it.