What'd she order, Fish Filet?

I tried to adopt an adult dog from a rescue and was refused because I didn't meet the income requirement. I worked full time, $30,000/yr with benefits in 2009 (the freaking recession). Went to the county pound and got my lovely terror of a dog from there instead.

Who leaves a cheap tip on a date? I'm in a long term relationship now, but that's an instant dealbreaker. I don't date cheap assholes who want to steal from waiters...

Wherever the caribbean people are. Goat is delicious. Cute animals are absolutely delicious. I have a theory that cuteness is directly proportional to deliciousness. I said that once to a friend on a ferry ride and a woman with a child shot me a dirty look. I wanted to tell her not to worry because her kid actually…

Pssst, I did too. Don't tell anyone though.

I love how he includes all his students - I'm fond of people who give time to their special needs students. This is the first bit of music I will be buying from a DJ. This song is just like the 70's funk I grew up on.

Think "I'd like to speak with a manager" haircuts and (OMG real) Coach bags (from the seasons ago.)

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

Here's a link to the gofundme info to help support the baker's legal fund.

I'll just leave this here....

Paul Newman.

Whelp, I was going to hang out in my sexy sexy sex pants (stained in not one, but two places with Nutella) and watch season two of The Fall while my daughter is at a sleepover, but I guess I'd better change. Perhaps I can find some non-lustful dungarees somewhere. I mean, it's just me and the dogs here, but you never…

Twilight is Nickelback. Fifty Shades is a Nickelback cover band.

What does Taylor think tho

I'll help make "Because, Fuck You Jess" happen. I know one. Fuck her.

What a ridiculous concept. Everyone knows that aluminum foil has the highest fat burning rate per square inch. It's like no one cares about science anymore.

or toddlers!

Someone told me that cat's don't like to scratch microfiber, so I bought a microfiber couch. You know what? That person was a goddamn filthy liar.

When I lived in Chicago, I used to drive around claiming any useful items people would leave in "their" parking spaces. You left that chair in a public street all day? Sorry, chump, that means it's not yours anymore.

Don't believe the hype: much like the awful pizza, "dibs" is something many, many of us native Chicagoans detest and fight back against at every opportunity.