The real story here is how sites like Jez have essentially turned a tweet about a bad date into a fake story. 

Well, fuck me then.

Its the rest of this year and then the next four.

The choices that world leaders make over the next 11 years will in all likelihood define the fate of Earth for generations to come.

“Down-a Pennsyl-Tucky waaa-aaaay!”

Hey, those kids run up and down that gymnasia court all the live long day. They may not ever put the activity sphere in the points container but don’t you say its not a sport.

Meanwhile, Brett Michaels down in front sat quietly and scanned the crowd for 15 year olds to put his mouth on. 

I 100% root for the bulls every year.

“Sorry about your legs.”

“She got a store brand cereal bag full of Oxy under that skin tight Kid Rock tour shirt!

“Demolition Man” era.

She might want to re-think that since she’s going to have to make a firm decision regarding choice of prison gang soon and the Rollin’ 30 Cholitas are this years favorite.

That crazy bitch doesn’t have enough face for her head size.

Two totally unique musical talents.

Does it make me a racist if I cant tell the difference between Ja Rule and Shabba Ranks? Its not because I think all black people look the same but because theyre two black guys who are famous for something but I have no idea what.