I hate you, and this is exactly the content I come to Jalopnik for.

I was at a rich, WASPy wedding in Naples, FL a few summers back. Almost everyone who attended was very wealthy and the valet lot seemed like it didn’t have a single car worth less than $50k in it. Bentley, G-klasse, Escalades, Maseratis, Range Rovers and all the typical vehicles of the Naples upper class were present.

It’s 30% of all fatalities. That’s a huge percent.

Agreed. These firebirds were always hideous. They came from a time when GM leaned into plastic body panels and attempted to fit as many design gimmicks and cliches possible into a single vehicle. Truly hideous and aging very poorly compared to the contemporary “new edge” 99-04 mustangs.

Most of these are good suggestions except the Cavalier and Alero. Major pieces of shit. Wish there was more logic put into choosing these lists than simply anecdotes. “I had a used Cavalier that lasted for years” is hardly sound logic for a car that is world renown for being a piece of shit.

This is wrong. Lexus launched in 1989, not 2000

I disagree with almost all of these except the Miata and Tacoma. No Maverick? The base Maverick is the most compelling one because it’s the only way to get the hybrid drivetrain. That’s a far better truck than the more expensive 2.0T model that only offers marginally more power and optional AWD

Counterpoint: center console isn’t oddly shaped - it’s normal shaped with a quick access lid (the sliding drawer thing). It’s actually clever because you don’t need to ask the passenger to lift their elbow when you need to get something out of the console.

A few thoughts from a UI designer here:

With the Range Rover Sport it kinda makes sense. I drove a first gen sport and its contemporary Range Rover back to back and the Sport is significantly more athletic. Makes sense, as its smaller, lower center of gravity and the same engines.

Nissan Rogue Sport. Did you even know they released this car? That it’s a different model entirely than the Rogue? That it fits some spot that allegedly exists between the Kicks and Rogue? That it replaced the quirky Juke? No, neither did anyone else. It’s a disposable appliance that will never have a single fan or…

Porsche. Timeless classic 911 and modern SUVs

GMC Envoy XUV. An SUV that is also a pickup truck? Combining the two hottest and most profitable segments in the country? Brilliant idea! Until you saw the execution.

The back seats have legroom but are upright benches. Not as comfortable as an SUV or sedan, which have some meaningful pitch to the seats.

The answer has always been S class. The bigger, the better. There’s a reason most billionaires and heads of state have at least one in their fleet.

A lot of weird editorial oversights for an car magazine.

Price: GLIs are between $2k and $7k cheaper, based on trim

I drove a 2001 M5 HARD from 130k miles to 170k. I sold it to a friend who drove it to 190k. He sold it to a tuner who FINALLY replaced the rod bearings (talk about a ticking time bomb - the potential issue that made me sell) and supercharged it. It’s running around with 200k miles ripping through track days.

Lightly used Cadillac CT6 Platinum or Blackwing.

Kia (in)famously offered a “Buy one, get one free” deal in the early 2000s. When you purchased a minivan (their most expensive model at the time), you received a Rio hatchback (their cheapest trim and model) for free. Sounded like a good deal, until you realized that you were required to forgo all incentives on the…