“...Desai got a text from his friend Brian Halloran after the NFC title game Sunday.”

Yes - absolutely. The field manual for stadium security clearly states that when using a standard Wishbone Leg Parade Carry to escort drunken patrons out of the facility, a right cross is the most effective means of counteracting any flailing of the patron’s torso or upper extremities.

[edit: damn, too late!]

Yeah, the purpose of the WSJ opinion page is basically to keep the most pernicious conservative myths alive by continually injecting them into the public sphere for anyone predisposed to believe them. You want a defense of trickle down economics? The WSJ has Grover Norquist on line one. Do you prefer your outright…

Exactly - that’s why hedge funds always do so much better on average than index funds, and no hedge fund manager has ever lost billions of dollars with bad bets.

In spite of having heard “Sailing” thousands of times over nearly four decades, I had absolutely no idea what Christopher Cross looked like. I was a little surprised to see an Andy Dwyer doppelganger in an Earl Campbell jersey crooning out the yacht rock.

And three second rounders. I’m still trying to figure out what that’s a good marital euphemism for.

I do not sing, but I make a def song/You could live your whole life, and I hope you live long.

Obligatory:

Mayor Quimby voice: “It can be two things!”

+ 1/2 for your spin.

“....Triple, double, single, those not so smooth chin pubes...”

Did you get with the program? Did you jump on the team and come on in for the big win? 

Buzzfeed went deep on this one and shattered the illusion of distaff dominance at work here. The woman on the toilet, named Logan (of course), had her boyfriend, named Bo (of course), positioned at the bottom of the stairs.

Can we make “5150" her nickname? I still just can’t even fathom how the “drain the swamp” slogan worked for Trump’s campaign, when it was clear as day that the worst sort of swamp creatures would do the heavy lifting for his administration. It’s enough to get me involuntarily committed.  

So Donald Trump just tweeted the need for safe spaces?

Prior to his arrival at Ellis Island, Manfred’s great-great grandfather was called Harvey Manfrenjensenjen.

That running jab hurts almost as much as my knee does right now.

This comment is really the Jewell in the crown.

Oh, I'm sure he's had runs aplenty.