I had a roommate in college (a sub 2:25 marathoner) who used to run local races in khakis just to fuck with these people.

I always love these interviews. The subject is always effortlessly cool/chic/casual. They always shop at little vintage shops that you've never heard of. They always meet up at some vegan cafe / gourmet burger / fair-trade organic kale bistro for the interview.

When Vogue interviews me, they'll be all,…

Eh, I didn't really think it deserved either extreme reaction. Outside of saying that the guy was really, really good at his job I don't think it paints him as some sort of god amongst men. It paints him as a difficult dude to be married to and someone motivated by protecting other soldiers but he's not walking on…

Secretly convinced he is actually a virgin because of his two penises and that this is all just a really sad, sad front...

It means measure it generously. Like a "heaping teaspoon."

Related: my worst ever was this super manipulative guy I dated for a few months who very seriously informed me he was a shaman, and used to poke at me with crystals in the name of "healing" (ie, the New Age version of emotional abuse). He was really into tantric breathing too, which is fine, I guess, but sometimes you…

Pretty sure magnets are involved...

I haven't had any truly embarrassing sex partners (YET!), just boring ones, so I'm just here for the stories. Boy oh boy, y'all are NOT letting me down tonight

Was it Mystery?!

You win. That's mortifying.

Yessssssss

Sigh.....a white guy that would wear "funky jamiroquai hats" in high school. I lost my virginity in his storage unit. :-/

A white guy with the book "sensual Japanese love poems" on his shelf. He also tried telling me about his screen play :(

This ballerina dude who was in charge of "gospel dance" at his new age-y church. When we were done, he rolled off, and put a handmade hemp bracelet on me with five different colored beads.

Got all busy on the dance floor with this hot Latin dude. We went back to his place, got naked, and we weren't even undressed two minutes and his load was all over my stomach. Expecting to continue and push through to another orgasm I stayed in bed all sexy-like preparing for more. He looked at me quizzically and…

1) An Irish guy who purposely mooned me and my friend at a pizza place in NYC. He was wearing a kilt. We banged on a couch in my friend's dorm room. I think the kilt stayed on.

I'm just here to make sure my name, or likeness, doesn't show up.

That woman who is dating her dad.

You all have no idea how happy I am to have won a pissing contest!! This made my week considering I'm overdue on birthing this kid! I'm gonna eat a sundae to celebrate my pissing victory !