This house was a flooded mess last time we saw it on the show. Hard pass.

I suggest these. I have a pair, bought new at the local thrift shop for 2 bucks. Major score because mine have clear AND purple rhinestones on the sides.

This is my favorite quote.

Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers are over.

Okay but furreal this is my entire life goal right here

what. the. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK?????

Speaking of shitting on the floor, years ago I worked at a clothing store that was part of an outdoor mall. A woman came in asking to use the restroom. I told her that the restroom was just outside the door to the left. She said she wanted to use what we used. I explained that that was for employees only and liability…

“Ugh” like you also think she is the most beautiful pixie dream woman as well?

Ugh. Winonna!

I hope someone hits Sephora HAM. I’m planning my revenge for the Epic Fail Rewards Pogrom.

They aren't going to name him that. The real name, Flames Gold 99 West, is a complete secret, except to me.

I’ll tell you who: the TSA agent intending to steal your identity

A flask with my entire name engraved on it was stolen out of my bag on the way to a convention. WHO WANTS A FLASK WITH MY NAME???

homegirl is fucking lucky as shit and also has the lightest period on god’s green earth bc if that was me please believe they would have blurred out my entire lower half and all 26 miles behind me that were literred w huge globs of my uterine lining.

This picture makes me want to be a better person.

My husband looked over saw the photo and asked “What happened to John Travolta’s face?”

speaking of stopping plastic surgery before it’s too late, John Travolta.

Yes.

nope

I’m legit crying right now. I HATE POACHERS SO MUCH I HATE THEM!