Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all adorable fun and games until Sheriff John Bunnell gets involved.

It's the American way of fixing things: throw lots of money at it, and see if anything sticks.

If you drive a brown Mini Clubman, the sticker should say, "My car deserves to be demolished by the government."

"its current straits." Sheesh, who's running this joint here?

@Hepcat_AU: Dahling, I'm sorry I've gotten the ashes from my Cuban all over your luverly fur coat...in my Jaaaaaaaaag.

@YankBoffin: Cassette players for the win! How else are you gonna have "integrated iPod connectivity?"

@PlayerX: Our Subaru Legacy has that weird Piet Mondrian-esque etching on the rear window in lieu of an antenna. The result? I can't pick up Worcester-based stations...in Worcester. Our effin' Sentra with its wobbly-assed antenna got miles better reception.

Welp, this also answers the mystery as to what the strange blue car being cut up was: a VW Polo.

My mom's Civic has wind-down windows, as did the Sentra we had before that. That car still had a cigarette lighter, as well as the Xterra we bought alongside it. The truck had a manual transfer case. When it broke down, our family borrowed a friend's 1988 Park Avenue with velour seats - one better than vinyl, and Zapp…

@optional flavor: The subsidary should go towards people trading in their cars for motorcycles. And no, not just big fuck-off Harley-Davidsons with loud pipes that can be heard 3 towns over, ridden by fat people in shorts and sleeveless LACONIA BIKE WEEK FREEDOM RIDE THESE COLORS DON'T RUN shirts and beer bellies the…

Aww. It'll be less adorable when he grows up and wrecks his father's 1969 Camaro into somebody's yard.

@layabout returns: Hey, "Budweiser" has three whole syllables! Give 'em a break!

@smalleyxb122: [turns to page 7]

Reason #691, 331 why I hate cyclists.

Remember kids, Optimus Prime says to drink your Ovaltine!

019. Non RS taillights installed on RS equipped cars (all 4 of them).

What, she wasn't driving a Dodge Demon?

I'm strangely drawn to #14.

The sign said "Fire Zone," dammit!

Why you should buy the 2009 Toyota Venza: You don't know what "Jalopnik" is.