@Rust-MyEnemy can't grow a beard: Nah, OK Cola is the soda to watch out for, the kids love it.

@Triborough: Let's all give a warm welcome to a genuine celebrity, Rush Limbaugh!

Ok, I've got another stupid question: why do new cars say "essence sans plomb" as well? Some cars even say it on the inside, near the fuel light. Is there anybody under 30 who still remembers having to ask for unleaded? Do we expect our cars to be suddenly transported to sub-Saharan Africa, where they still use leaded…

@Jellodyne: That's Nardelli's job.

Well, at least I know now that if I ever flip our Legacy, I won't have to replace most of the windows, saving my family money in auto repairs after the accident.

@Jo Schmo *Now with more cholesterol: And with no gas, either!

@Ash78: In that same vein, as long as they don't do a testicular cancer awareness car, then I'm happy.

@jduffy13: Why are you still here? Seriously? Do you even like cars? Is Jezebel missing a village idiot?

Hubcaps save weight, yo.

Think about it. The 22R engine obviously didn't need a rebuild at that point, yet the owner clearly hauled the engine out and meticulously tore it down, polished a bolt or two, then carefully put it back together again. For no particular reason. Psychologists call this "obsessive-compulsive behavior," and it's a prime…

As long as it's got those red flags at each corner, then it's fine with me.

Jalopnik: the gentlemen's club for distinguished men. The old housewives can stick with Jezebel; this is where we go to escape our Nagging Nancys!

That's a bit much just to get in the HOV lane.

I remember I saw an ad for the original SHO as a kid, showing off its interior - I was amazed by the massive seat bolsters it had, like a giant hand coddling your fast-driving ass.

@Pete Gaines: I always appreciated how Michael Scott helps render the Sebring as even more uncool and dorky than it already was. Same goes for the PT Cruiser convertible that's such a fitting replacement.

@ab3: However, it's just a C-Class coupe, so there's no hidden socialist propaganda here or anything like that.

@Maymar wishes his car had beach assault capability: Hey, those things sold for what, $6,000 new? I could sell my Hyundai* and be a time travelin' high roller!

Late 1960s, so I could have an actual 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T instead of this retro thing Chrysler's obsessed with.

@DannyBN: Crank windows build character and upper bicep strength, dammit!

@Cognitive Friction: It's old enough to buy cigarettes and porn now! And yet, I've still never seen the first one.