Palin/Joe the Italian Loader Driver '12: Country First!

Somebody needs to stick it on Top Gear and have it square off against a Lada at an East German military base.

@SCROGGZILLA RAIDS AGAIN!!: I say, dear sir, 'tis akin to being the cheeriest fellow with the croup!

@ciscokidinsf: It's ok, Mercedes has PRE-SAFE, you and your left hand will be all set!

So how does the analogy between Detroit's perceived lack of innovation (where he would undoubtedly lambast us for drinking the Kool-Aid) and Apple's perceived innovation (that let it build off Napster and MP3 technology in general) fit in, anyway?

@STR8SIX: It also helps to have ridiculously terrible facial hair that makes you look like you're banned from grade schools in 36 states.

@Matt Hardigree: "So hey, drunk ladies...guess we're not going anywhere for a while, huh?"

Now here's the fun part: guess the car behind the shirt!

My friend and I got back from a movie theater to discover that somebody (damn kids!) had smeared the remnants of a Wendy's chocolate Frostie on the windshield, under the wipers, on the rearview mirrors, and on the headlights.

I thought they already put this into limited obscure production? I remember reading about this years ago, didn't think they would actually do something about it.

Did these people piss on an Indian burial ground or something? This sort of bad luck just doesn't happen to, say, people who don't forward chain letters.

@BLS: $1.3MILLION OBO DONT WASTE MY TIME WITH LOWBALL OFFERS NO DEADBEAT BUYERS PLZ

@MinusTwenty: I feel like I need a cigarette and a cuddle after watching that.

@AciSpades: The best part is that it's in slow-motion, emphasizing the colossal EPIC FAIL.

NO TIME WASTERS OR DEDBEATS PLZ

That looks mad fun. Sign me up.

Now pay attention students, this is called a metaphor...

@Kaiser-Machead: So going by the definition of "queef", all trolls are angry Rosie O'Donnell-type lesbians?

And his first instinct is to calmly keep shooting! The James Bond of rally photography.