Maryland to Friendship Heights here.

I think a family or two would be a really helpful symbolic gesture.

Pope Scrooge is the best Scrooge. Though honestly the commute today might have been the best I’ve ever had? So bless the pope.

Today DC has basically been: Happy Pope Day all day!

the speed that produces the most delicious feeding is the speed at which babies nurse

I’ve seen enough divorces to know this will never work.

Maybe we actually taste amazing and cannibals were onto something.

fuck everything pumpkin

YAAAAAAAAAAAS

Coming this fall to a television near you: Bros Discover Things

Come to the east coast! We’ll change your mind nice and quick.

Winter is the worst season. There will be no arguing this.

Seriously can the US just lower the drinking age to 18 and solve SO many problems already?

Everyone knows Muslims hate everything including each other and freedom and guns. Muslim extremists definitely hate guns and are making bombs to take them away.

I feel like modern bomb makers put countdown clocks on them because they think that’s how they’re supposed to be built? Like a life imitates art sort of thing.

I’m not even going to validate their nonsense arguments with any counterarguments. It’s chemtrails all over again. Just LOL OK and keep moving on with my day.

That looks painful. Getting old must be the worst.

Yes, but I didn’t understand until I was much older. Looking back, it all makes sense.

I’m gay. All my shit is rainbows.

He said he had consensual extra-marital affairs and none of the his partners were drugged unknowingly.